Whose Line Is It Anyway? Anime Craze!
by Gamerctm
Summary: Various Anime characters star in one of the funniest shows ever made! Rated PG13 to be on the safe side. PLZ R&R! I'll also take any suggestions you have for the show.
1. Episode 1

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show.  
  
{cut to C.J.} Don't make me hurt you. Christopher Julius! (From my Samurai Pizza Cats Fanfic.) {cut to Yusake.} I'm gonna kick your ass! Yusake Urameshi! (From YuYu Hakusho.) {cut to Misty} I'll pull out the mallet of doom! Misty Waterflower! (From Pokemon) And. {cut to Joey.} Don't hurt me. Joey Wheeler! (From Yu-Gi-Oh!){cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon! Let's have some fun! {walks down to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway." The only show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, like giving DBZ characters funerals. {audience starts laughing.} Just a waste of time. If you never seen the show, our 4 contestants have to make up everything of the top of there heads. I give them these fake points and pick a winner at the end. The winner of the show gets to do a little something with me. And the loser has to watch!  
  
C.J.: Lose-lose situation, huh? {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Even I don't want to be around it. Anyway, let's start off the show with Superheroes! {audience stars cheering as the 4 contestants walk up to the stage.} The contestants have to act like strange superheroes and solve a fake crisis. When they come out stage, the person before them has to give them a superhero name and they have to act it out. Misty will go first. {the other 3 walk to the side.} And I need from the audience a superhero name. {looks at the audience. They starts shouting out suggestions.} . I like that one! Temper Tantrum Woman!  
  
Misty: [disbelief] And the crisis?  
  
Gamer: {audience shouts out more suggestions.} Mall's closing! Okay! {looks at Misty.} So you are Temper Tantrum Woman, and the mall's closing! What do you do?  
  
Misty: [piercing annoying voice.] Why do I have to clean up the hide- out!!!!!!!!!! {lays down on the ground and pounds her fists } WHY!? WHY!? {gets up.} A crisis? The mall's closing? {jumps up and down.} IT CAN'T CLOSE!!! IT'S NOT FAIR!!! WHERE ARE THE OTHERS!!! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO {C.J. walks up.}  
  
C.J.: Sorry I'm late. Did you know every car alarm around the block just went off? {audience roars with laugher.}  
  
Misty: [same voice] That always happens. {audience stops laughing.} About time you came. uh. Pro Wrestler Boy!  
  
C.J.: {flexes his muscles.} [gruff voice] Whatcha gonna doooo? When the mall closes on youuuu? Grrrr.. {elbow drops the floor. Gets up and pretends to do a leg lock to an imaginary opponent.} Let's hear that snap!  
  
Misty: [piercing voice.] We gotta solve the problem. {stomps her foot up and down.} NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!  
  
Yusake: {walks in.} Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my car.  
  
C.J.: [gruff] Western Cowboy Man!  
  
Yusake: [cowboy voice] Of course why take a car when you can ride a horse. {pretends to swing a lasso over his head.} YEAHAW! {throws the rope towards Misty. She pretends to be pulled in.}  
  
Misty: [piercing voice] WHY CAN'T I THROW A ROPE LIKE THAT?!?! {screaming and jumping up and down.} I WANNA BE A COWGIRL!!! NOW!  
  
Joey: {walks in.} Sorry I'm late!  
  
Yusake: [cowboy voice] Well, mosey on down here. Tap Dance Kid!  
  
Joey: {starts to tap dance. Audience goes wild.} What's the problem?  
  
{Misty lays down and pounds the ground. Yusake acts like he's riding a bucking bronco. C.J. does a Spina-rooney. The audience continues cheering.}  
  
Yusake: [cowboy voice] We gotta do somethin'.  
  
Joey: {still tap dancing.} Don't worry! The mall will be open tomorrow! I need to leave! My feet hurt! {taps dances off stage.}  
  
Yusake: [cowboy voice] I'll mosey on outta here! {rides his horse off stage.} YEAHAW!!!  
  
C.J.: [gruff voice] {flexing his muscles.} I need to go to! I'm gonna lay the Smackdown on myself! {runs off stage.}  
  
Misty: [piercing voice] The crisis is gone!!! {C.J. makes a car alarm sound.} SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
{BUZZ!!!} {everyone walks back to their seats as the audience applause.}  
  
Gamer: {laughing.} That was great! 1000 points to everyone. And what did Pro Wrestler Boy mean by "lay the Smackdown" on himself?  
  
C.J.: That's what happens on a bad date when I hit "Rock Bottom"! {audiences laughs}  
  
Gamer: Must happen a lot. But moving on. let's play a game called Sound Effects! This is for Misty and Joey. {they walk up to the stage while Gamer goes into the audience.} We need two volunteers. {walks up to Botan and Yukina.} You two! What're your names?  
  
Botan: Botan.  
  
Yukina: Yukina.  
  
Gamer: C'mon down! {the audience starts cheering as the two girls follow Gamer to the stage.} This is Botan and Yukina. {Misty and Joey shake hands with them.} This is how the game goes. Joey and Misty are gonna act out a scene. You two, Yukina and Botan, are gonna provide the sound effects when they prompt you to. Yukina will provide the sound for Misty. Botan for Joey. {walks to the desk.} And the scene is. {reads a card.} James Bond, who is Joey, and his beautiful agent partner, Misty, are trying to sneak into the villain's lair. Botan and Yukina will provide the sound effects. go!  
  
Misty: [erotic voice] Oh. James. we have to find a way into the lair!  
  
Joey: {James Bond Voice.} Worry not my dear. As long as we don't run into any guards, we'll be fine.  
  
Botan: [gruff voice] Hold it right there! {giggles.}  
  
Misty: A guard! A giggling guard! He's pressed the alarm!  
  
Yukina: [quietly] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!  
  
Joey: Don't worry! It's so quiet, no one will hear it in time! {looks ahead.} Ninjas!!!  
  
Botan and Yukina: [high voices] Woo! Hy! Ah! Oh!  
  
Misty: They're midgets! {audience starts laughing.}  
  
Joey: My training doesn't cover midget attacks!  
  
Misty: {shaking Joey's arm.} Just shoot them! {Joey sticks out his thumb and index finger like a gun.}  
  
Botan: Bang.  
  
Botan and Yukina: OH! NO! AHH!  
  
Misty: You got all of them with one shot!!! {audience roars with laughter and cheers.}  
  
Joey: Sometimes I impress even myself! Let's go! {he and Misty walk around the stage.}  
  
Misty: It think we're making to much noise.  
  
Yukina: Crump-crump-crump.  
  
Joey: It's okay! The carpet's wet! Let's go! {they stop and face the audience.} This is where all the guards and ninjas are. It sounds quiet. {waits for a sound from Botan.}. too quiet. {waits again. She and the audience starts laughing.} I wouldn't be surprised if it was a really quiet group of 1000. We better get our guns.  
  
Misty: {acts likes she's holding a shot gun.} Here! I got my shotgun. Let me "cock" it to see if it works. I hope it "clicks" very loudly. {she cocks the imaginary gun.}  
  
Yukina: [faintly] click-click. {audience laughs.}  
  
Misty: Let me try again. {cocks it again. No sound.}  
  
Joey: What's wrong with it?  
  
Misty: Maybe I should load it with ammo first!  
  
Joey: It's okay! I'll just my rocket launcher to kill the guards! {they take a few steps back. Joey gets on one knee and holds a imaginary rocket launcher on his shoulder.} I must warn you! The explosion will be so loud, that it will shatter your ears! It will make a sound that can make you deaf! {pretends to fire it.}  
  
Botan: Boom.  
  
{audience, Yukina, and Botan laugh.}  
  
Misty: You were only able to blast a small hole in the door!!!  
  
Joey: I thought it would be louder! Here come the guards!  
  
Misty: What do we do!  
  
Joey: Wait! {sticks out his thumb and index finger again.}  
  
Botan: Bang.  
  
Yukina and Botan: AHH!!! NO!!! HE GOT US!!!  
  
Misty: You killed all 1000 with one shot, again! {audience laughs. Gamer starts laughing too.}  
  
Joey: This is a pretty sweet gun!  
  
{BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Okay! Thank you very much guys! {audience is still laughing and cheering. Gamer escorts Botan and Yukina back to their seats. Joey and Misty go back to theirs.} Thank you Yukina, Botan! {they sit down and are laughing too. Gamer runs back to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: I give Joey a 1000 points. One for every guard he killed. {audience applause.}  
  
Misty: What about me?  
  
Gamer: You didn't cock your gun, so you get only 999 points.  
  
{audience awws as Misty gives Gamer a fake sad face.}  
  
C.J.: {looks at Misty.} You can have one of my points!  
  
Joey: {looks at Misty.} You can one of mine, too.  
  
{audience cheers as Misty smiles.}  
  
Yusake: I'm keepin' all of mine! The hell with charity!  
  
Gamer: Let's move on to game called. I love this game. Scenes from a Hat! {audience cheers as the 4 performers come down to the stage. Joey and C.J. are on the right side. Misty and Yusake on the left.} Now for this game, we need this hat. {pulls out a top hat.} It's full of suggestions we got from the audience before the show. I'll pull em' out one at a time and the contestants must act them out. Starting with. {pulls out a piece of paper from the hat.} What Duel Monsters think will waiting to attack.  
  
C.J.: {walks up to the stage.} Please don't send me in.please don't send me in! {BUZZ} {He walks off stage as the audience laughs.}  
  
Misty: {walks up.} Can't this guy think of something in less then 6 minutes!? {BUZZ} {she sighs and walks off stage. The audiences laughs a little.}  
  
Yusake: {walks up.} {laughs.} Joey is getting his ass kicked! {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. Joey glares at him.} I mean, look! 4000 LP to his 250? Damn! He sucks! {audience roars with more laughter.} {BUZZ} {he walks off stage.}  
  
C.J.: {pulls out another paper.} Books written by the "Whose Line: Anime" performers.  
  
Joey: {walks up and points to a imaginary book on a shelf.} "How I killed Yusake Urameshi " by Joey Wheeler. {BUZZ} {audience laughs as Joey walks back.}  
  
Misty: {same.} "How to lay the Smackdown on yourself" by Christopher Julius. {BUZZ} {audience laughs as she walks back.}  
  
Gamer: Alright. {pulls out another paper.} Unlikely circus acts.  
  
C.J.: {walks up and moves his hands around like he's tying something.} Ya- ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! {throws his imaginary thing in the air and acts like he hung himself.} Crack! {his eyes are wide open and mouth are wide open and he dangles around.} {BUZZ} {he walks back as the audience roars with laughter.}  
  
{Misty and Yusake walk up. She pulls open his mouth and acts like she's putting her head in it. She pulls her head out, closes his mouth and takes a bow. The audience cheers.} {BUZZ} {they both walk back to their side.}  
  
{C.J. and Joey walks up. Joey lays on the ground and closes his eyes.}  
  
C.J.: [Australian voice] This man die of natural causes. [shouting] Alright Johnny! Start the truck! {pretends to hold jumper cables. He tap the two ends together and attaches them to Joey's shirt. Joey leaps to his feet and starts shaking around and jumping around. The audience cheers.} Lookie here! With just 10,000 volts, you can make your relatives dance again!  
  
{BUZZ} {they walk back to their side.}  
  
Gamer: You know, that last part, I don't know if I can consider it a circus act.  
  
C.J.: Just read the cards and sign the pay checks. That's what you're here for.  
  
Gamer: {pulls out another paper.} Oh God. Please be nice. What Gamerctm is thinking right now.  
  
{audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up.} I so lucky to have this job. All I do is talk and hit the buzzer. {audience starts laughing.} {BUZZ} Buzz-buzz-buzz! That's all I do! {BUZZ} Oh! Buzz! Buzz! And talk! {audience goes wild.} I don't do anything else! Not a damn thing! {BUZZ} {looks at Gamer} I can do that to! {walks to the desk and hits the buzzer.} {BUZZ} See! It's that easy! {BUZZ} {walks back to his spot. The audience is still cheering and laughing.}  
  
Gamer: {mimicking C.J.} That's all I do! {normal} That and sign your pay checks! {pulls out another paper.} What celebrates do after they get fired. {audience laughs.}  
  
Joey: {walks up.} Name's Christopher Julius! I had a short spot on Whose Line until I insulted the boss. {holds up a imaginary tray.} Here are your fries! {BUZZ} {the audience laughs as he walks back.}  
  
Yusake: {gets on both knees and walks up} [high pitch voice] I was one of the Lollipop Guild! Now I'm workin' at Chippendales'! {starts dancing erotically. All the women in the audience goes wild.} {BUZZ} {he walks back.}  
  
{C.J. starts to walk up, but stops and walks back.}  
  
Gamer: {looking at C.J.} Go ahead! I wanna see it!  
  
C.J.: I changed my mind.  
  
Gamer: No! I wanna to see what you planning to do.  
  
C.J.: {audience starts cheering him on.} Okay. {walks up} [Alex Trebik's voice] Sorry. you must put your fast food order in the form of a question. {BUZZ} {the audience laughs a little.} [normal voice] Not a damn thing! {audience laughs more.}{BUZZ} All I do is Buzz! Buzz! {BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ} {audience starts cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Thank you very much guys! Hey! Don't go nowhere! "Whose Line is it Anyway" will be right back right after this! {throws the hat into the audience. Scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The only show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. And for those of you keeping score out there. get a life! Let's move on to a game called News Flash! This is for C.J., Misty, and Joey. {the 3 performers walk up to the stage. C.J. and Misty sit in the chairs on stage while Joey walks in front of a giant green screen.} The way this game works, Misty and C.J. are news reporters and Joey is on the field. He's standing in front of what we call a "Green Screen." All he sees his green. But trough the magic of cameras, we and everyone at home can see what's behind him. He has to guess what's behind him, and the others give him clues to either help or screw him. Ready, go! {cut to Misty and C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {looking at Misty.} Sorry 'bout last night. That. never happen to me before.  
  
Misty: {looks at the camera.} [whispering to C.J.] We're on! [normal] We interrupt you're program for this breaking news!  
  
C.J.: We go now to our field reporter, Joey Wheeler! {cut to Joey, on the screen behind him is a large swarm of bees.} Joey! Can you hear me?  
  
Joey: [shouting] I can barely hear you! Dis is nothing less than pandemonium and terror! I fear for my life!  
  
Misty: Now Joey! What started all this?  
  
Joey: It started when someone on "Whose Line" insulted da boss! {audience starts laughing.} It just erupted into dis. {waves his hand across the screen. (He can't see the image, through.)}  
  
C.J.: They seem angry about this! Were you able to speak to some of them?  
  
Joey: {waving his hands around.} I can't get close enough! Da chaos and panic is keeping me back! Da only person I talked to said one thing. "He doesn't do a damn thing!"  
  
Misty: There's certainly a "buzz" about how long this will last. Any idea when this will end?  
  
Joey: I'd say like after a week or so of dis, it'll die down. It's not as bad as it was a minute ago. {the audiences screams as a few 100 bees on the screen behind him come closer. He starts running in place.} Dat was too close!  
  
C.J.: Too close! What are you doing to protect yourself down there?  
  
Joey: Da only thing I can do! Cover myself in Gamer's cologne! {audience starts laughing.} Hopefully da bad smell will keep 'em away! {cut to Gamer, who is glaring at Joey.}  
  
C.J.: That wouldn't be "Ode de Honey" perfume, would it?  
  
Misty: Well. {laughs.} It seems to be attracting them! Listen. They have been rumors that this is actually a "sting" operation. So don't get too close to them.  
  
Joey: Pardon?  
  
Misty: Don't get to close to them. This might be a "sting" operation.  
  
Joey: Believe me! I don't want to get anywhere near dis! But as a professional, I must give you all the news I can get! OW!!! {covers his next.} They got me! {BUZZ}  
  
{the audience applauds.}  
  
Gamer: So tell me Joey. Where are you?  
  
Joey: A bee hive?  
  
Gamer: Close enough. {BUZZ} You're near a swarm of bees! {Joey, C.J., and Misty walk to their seats. They audience cheers and applauds. They stop after a few seconds.} Negative 1000 points for Joey, for insulting my cologne! And Misty and C.J. 1500 each for you two!  
  
C.J.: Yes!  
  
Misty: 'Bout time!  
  
Gamer: Can't let Joey's points go to waste!  
  
Joey: {slowly shakes his head.} Not a damn thing. {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Let's move on to Improvital Mission! This is for C.J., Yusake, and Joey. {they come down to the stage.} For this game, C.J. and Yusake are gonna act like secret agents on a mission. Joey will inform them of their mission by speaking into this special microphone. {hand Joey the mike. Joey walks to left, off stage. Gamer turns to the audience. He points to the section behind him.} Someone from this section. Name a mundane activity. {audience members start shouting out suggestions.} Laundry! Doing the laundry! Well use that one! {turns to the performers.} So you're mission is the laundry. Whenever you're ready, go!  
  
Yusake:{to C.J.} Did you get the mail?  
  
C.J.: All we got was this suspicious looking cassette tape.  
  
Yusake: That might be our next mission! Put it in the {pauses.} tape.player.thingy.  
  
C.J.: {presses a imaginary button.} Already did it.  
  
Joey: {like a recorded voice.} And with my 12 step plan, you can learn the secrets to weight loss and. {stops as C.J. presses the button again.}  
  
C.J.: Sorry, wrong side. {pretends to pull out the cassette, flips it over, and sticks it back in the player.} There we go!  
  
Joey: {like a recorded voice.} Good evening agents.  
  
Yusake: What's up?  
  
C.J.: How's it goin'?  
  
Joey: Don't ask me those questions. Dis is a recording.  
  
Yusake: Sorry.  
  
Joey: That's okay, Agent Urameshi. Listen carefully. You and Agent Julius, who I assume is standing next to you.  
  
C.J.: Hey! I'm here!  
  
Joey: I can see dat. Anyway, the Emperor of. {thinks.} Hardtopronoucia, {audience starts to laugh.} is coming to visit the president for a formal dinner. But the emperor has nuthin' to wear. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to take the emperor's dirty laundry and take it to the Laundromat, where you will wash and dry them. You will then take them to his hotel just before the dinner. If somethin' should happen and you are caught, we will erase any knowledge we have of you, forget you were agents, point and laugh at your sorry asses. Understand.  
  
C.J.: We understand. Thank you sir!  
  
Joey: This message will selfde. BOOM!!!  
  
Yusake: {surprised} He really wanna to end that message! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I'll say! {Yusake and C.J. face each other.} Well old friend. Looks like we have another mission.  
  
Yusake: May luck be on our side. {they shake hands and the dramatic spy music starts.}  
  
{C.J. walks to the back and runs back, acting like he's carrying a large bag of clothes.}  
  
C.J.: Where's the Laundromat?  
  
Yusake: {acts like he's reading a map.} According to this city map, it's 70 miles away from here!  
  
C.J.: What kinda city is this!? Wait a minute. don't we live right next door to the Laundromat? {audience laugh.}  
  
Yusake: I think you're right! Let's go! {they walk around and stop.} Made it!  
  
C.J.: Uh-oh.  
  
Yusake: What?  
  
C.J.: I didn't bring any quarters with me.  
  
Yusake: Do you have a dollar?  
  
C.J.: Yeah?  
  
Yusake: What if you eat the dollar? It will go through your digestion system and make four quarters!  
  
C.J.: That's crazy enough to work! Hold this. {hands Yusake the bag and pretends to pull a dollar out of his pocket and eats it.} Excuse me. {runs off screen. The audience laughs loudly. He runs back.} I got the quarters! Take 'em!  
  
Yusake: Hell no! {waves his hands in protest. Audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Okay! We need a machine!  
  
Yusake: {points to the left.} Over there! Oh-no!  
  
C.J.: What now?  
  
Yusake: There's no more soap!  
  
C.J.: We can't do laundry without. wait a minute. Weren't your genes spliced with a bar of soap?  
  
Yusake: Yeah! How will that help?  
  
C.J.: If we make you hot, you'll sweat. We'll use your sweat. {pauses. Audience laughs.} We'll use the soap that's in your sweat. Do I have to explain everything!?  
  
Yusake: But how will I sweat?  
  
C.J.: Hmm. The dryer! {audience starts laughing.} If we throw you into the dryer, you'll sweat from the heat! {opens a imaginary dryer.} Get in!  
  
Yusake: Alright! {he steps in and starts rolling around on the ground. The audience roars with laughter.} DING!  
  
C.J.: {opens the door. Yusake walks out.} It works! You're sweating like a greased pig! {gets pulled and sticks to Yusake.} Oh crap! Static cling! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yusake: We gotta hurry! {they walk towards the other side.} Throw the clothes in! We'll start with the whites!  
  
{C.J. pretend to empty a bag of clothes into a washer.}  
  
C.J.: Throw the other bag into the other washer. {Yusake does this.} Now we wait. DING! Oh! Mines done! {pretends to open the door and pull out a piece of clothing.} Oh no! Everything's pink! {audience roars with laughter.}  
  
Yusake: Pink!? There must have been a red shirt in the wash!  
  
C.J.: What do we do now?  
  
Yusake: Hey! Weren't your genes spliced with a bottle of bleach?  
  
C.J.: I get where you're goin' with this! I go run to the dryer.  
  
Yusake: We don't have time! You'll sweat enough in the hot water! {throws C.J. into the washer. C.J. rolls around as the audience laughs.} DING! {pulls the clothes out.} It worked! Everything white again! {C.J. comes out the washer.}  
  
C.J.: Quick! Throw the clothes in the dryer! {he and Yusake do that.} DING! These are some fast dryers! {he and Yusake pull out the clothes.}  
  
Yusake: The clothes have shrunk!!! {pretends to hold a small T-shirt. The audience roars with laughter.}  
  
C.J.: Now he can't wear them! {looks to the other side.} Wait! {walks over there.} Here was a clean formal suit this whole time!  
  
Yusake: Lets get it and get outta here! {BUZZ} {they walk back to their seats and the audience cheers and applauds them.}  
  
Gamer: Give it up! For those two! That was great! We'll find out who the winner is right after this! Don't go any where! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Misty, Gamer, Yusake and C.J. are standing in a row. Joey is at the desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to the show! Tonight's winner is Joey Wheeler! Joey! {Joey blows kisses to the audience.} And as punishment to us, we gotta do a HOE-DOWN!!! {the audience cheers.} Alright, what I need from the audience is a person you really hate! {audience shouts out suggestions.} Super models! We can go with that! So the Super Model Hoe-down, Take it away! {the hoe-down music starts. Misty is first.}  
  
Misty: I used to be a model, that you should see. Every man in the city wanted to be with me. But I got fired that fateful day. I pushed another model off the runway!  
  
{Audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: I went on a date with model, it was my loss. The only one who wanted to go was Kate Moss. I took her to my apartment, I opened up the doors. She then fell in between a crack in the floorboards!  
  
{Audience roars with laughter.}  
  
Yusake: Models like to starve themselves, they never-ever eat. Always wearing clean clothes and lookin' neat. So we played a joke on them, me and my friend, Jin. He created a small breeze and blew them all in the wind!  
  
{audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I really hate super models, they think their the best. Lookin' pretty, dressin' well, is there no rest? Not eatin' takin' drugs, when their all alone. I could be a model, but I can't get that stoned!  
  
All: I can't get that stoned! {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Gamer: That's the end of our show! We'll see you again on "Whose Line is it Anyway!" See ya later!  
  
{scene fades out.}  
  
NOTE: If you have any ideas for the show, add a review and tell me about it. Also, please add a review after you read it. A lot of people have said I'm a good writer, but I need to know if I'm making any mistakes. 


	2. Episode 2

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Not for anyone under 13, Christopher Julius! (from my Samurai Pizza Cats fanfic.) {cut to Mai.} Unsuitable for children, Mai Valentine! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) {cut to Gohan (as an adult)} Must be 18 or older, Gohan! (from DBZ) And. {cut to Kuwabara.} Not for anyone at all, Kazuma Kuwabara! (from YuYu Hakusho) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon lets have some fun! {walks to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything made up and the points don't matter! Points don't matter just like "Blair Witch's" plot! {audience laughs.} If you never seen the show, our 4 performers have to make up everything off the top of their heads. No matter how empty. {looks at Kuwabara.} I give them fake points, just a gag to hold the show together. I total up the points and the winner gets to something special with me. {audience ohhs and whistles.} And the loser has to do it twice! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our first game. Let's Make a Date! {audience cheers as the performers walk to the stage and grab stools to sit on.} Mai is a contestant on a dating show, but unfortunately, her only choices are these guys. {points to the men performers.} And we have given them each a strange quirk or identity. {C.J. reads his card and chuckles. Gohan reads his and shakes his head. Kuwabara looks dumfounded at his.} And you have to guess who they are by asking them questions. So whenever you're ready.  
  
Mai: Bachelor Number One.  
  
C.J.: [shouting] YES!!! (Loud-Mouth Drill Sargent) {audience laughs}  
  
Mai: Ohh. you gotta strong voice. Where would you take me on a romantic date?  
  
C.J.: [shouting] {audience starts laughing}WE WILL GO ON A 20 LAP RUN AROUND THE WOODS, AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!!! AFTER THAT, 500 OF EACH!!! PUSH- UPS! CHIN-UPS! JUMPIN' JACKS! SIT-UPS! AND YOU WILL ENJOY EVERY MINUTE OF IT! {audience applauds}  
  
Mai: Sounds like fun. Bachelor Number 2.  
  
Gohan: {panicked} WHAT?! Who said that? (Scared of Everything)  
  
Mai: Take it easy. Bachelor Number 2. One of my favorite things to do is play Duel Monsters.  
  
Gohan: {more panicked} MONSTERS!!! WHERE?! {looks around as the audience laughs. C.J. turns his head and looks at Gohan. When Gohan sees him, he yelps and winces back in fear. He's looking C.J. directly in the eyes.}  
  
C.J.: {to Gohan.} [shouting] TAKE YOUR EYEBALLS OFF ME, YOU LILY LIVERED SACK OF CRAP!!! {audience roars with laughter.} DROP AND GIVE ME 200!!! NOW!!! {Gohan drops to the ground and starts doing push-ups. He's whimpering and shaking in fear.} FASTER! FASTER! {Gohan speeds up After a while C.J. and Gohan sit back on the stools and the audience applauds and cheers.}  
  
Mai: Best thing about you, number 2, is that number 1 comes with you. Bachelor Number 3, my turn-ons include music, chocolate, and massages. What are your turn-ons?  
  
Kuwabara: (high-class gentlemen turning into a were-wolf) [smoothly] My turn-ons include Be-autiful women, like you my fair damsel. {Mai giggles.} They also include slow dancing to soft music, dinner by candlelight, hunting and eating a fresh Gypsy and sniffing other peoples'. {audience laughs while Mai gasps.} What was the question again? {growls playfully.} grrrr. {growls more ferociously.} GRRRR. SNARL!!!  
  
Gohan: {after hearing Kuwabara snarl.} AHH! {backs away from him and hits C.J. is the elbow. C.J. looks at him. The audience laughs. Gohan looks at him.} AHH! {backs off.}  
  
Mai: Number 3. You sound like a wild animal! Back to you Number 1.  
  
C.J.: [shouting] YES!  
  
Mai: I love the outdoors.  
  
C.J.: [shouting] GOOD! CAUSE WHEN WE START TRAINING, YOU WILL SLEEP, EAT, WORK, AND DO OTHER THINGS OUTSIDE YOUR LITTLE COMFY HOME!!! {looks in the audience. He shouts and points to someone.} YOU!!! GET DOWN HERE!!! {audience cheers and whistles.} RIGHT NOW!!! {from the audience, Van Freiheit from Zoids runs to the stage. He stops in front of C.J.} LISTEN TO ME, YOU UNDISCIPLED PUDDLE OF MUSH! BATTLE BREAK OUT, NO ONE IS YOUR FRIEND, NOT EVEN YOUR FRIENDS!!! RUN 20 TIMES AROUND THE STAGE AND BE QUICK ABOUT IT!!! {Van does as he's told and the audience cheers and applaud him. C.J. sits down.}  
  
Mai: Wow. you can bring more guys with us! Bachelor Number 2. I want.  
  
Gohan: [panicked] WHO CARES WHAT YOU WANT?! I'M SURROUNDED BY MAD MEN!!! {starts running around the stage with Van as the audience laughs.} SAVE ME!!! HELP ME!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!  
  
Mai: You must be fun at parties. Bachelor Number 3?  
  
Kuwabara: {points his head up high.} HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!!! {the audience cheers during the middle.} GRRRRRRRR. {he jumps off the stage and thrashes around, screaming in agony, like he's turning into a were-wolf. When he's done, he and C.J. lock eyes.} GRRRRR. {acts like he's foaming at the mouth.}  
  
C.J.: I've been killin' guys twice as big as you since before you were born. {shouts.} DROP AND GIVE ME 400!!! {Gohan runs towards Kuwabara then runs the other way. Kuwabara, on all fours, chases him down and acts like he catches and tears him to shreds. The audience screams. Gohan screams as this happens. Van runs up to C.J. and stops.} {to Van} Now you can do 20 more in the other di-rection. {shouts} MOVE!!! {Van runs the other way.} {BUZZ} {Van and C.J. shake hands. The audience cheers and applauds.} Thanks a lot! {Van runs back to his seat as C.J., Gohan and Kuwabara sit on the stools.}  
  
Gamer: {to Van} What's your name?  
  
Van: Van!  
  
Gamer: You didn't do a full 20, Van. {audience laughs.} {to Mai.} Okay Mai! Who are they?  
  
Mai: Well I choose Van. {the audience applauds and Van laughs.} Bachelor Number one was a Drill Sargent?  
  
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {the audience cheers.}  
  
Mai: Number 2 is a fraidy cat?  
  
Gamer: Close enough. {BUZZ} He's scared of everything.  
  
Mai: And Number 3 is a rapid dog?  
  
Gamer: No! He's changing into a what?  
  
Mai: A werewolf!  
  
Gamer: Yeah! {BUZZ} The audience cheers as the performers put the stools away and sit at their seats.} That was great! 1000 sit-ups to everyone! Lets move on to a game called, Song Styles! This is for C.J.!{audience starts cheering as Gamer goes up into the audience. C.J. walks to the stage and places a stool in the middle. Gamer stops in front of the Triad from YuYu Hakusho. He talks to the female ogre, Miyuki} What's your name? What do you do?  
  
Miyuki: Miyuki. I'm a member of the Triad.  
  
Gamer: C'mon down, Miyuki! Say hi to C.J.! {he and her walk to the stage. She shakes hands with C.J and sits cross-legged on the stool.} C.J., this is Miyuki, and you're gonna sing a song to her using her name and occupation. {he goes to the desk and reads a card.} And the style of the song is. you're Chef, from South Park! {audience cheers.} So when the music starts, sing a song about Miyuki, Chef! {romantic soul music starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: {as Chef} Hey, children! {audience cheers and whistles.} {as Stan} Hey, Chef! {as Kyle} Chef. What's a Miyuki? {as Chef} A Miyuki is a beautiful demon woman, who Chef is gonna make sweet love to! {audience cheers and Miyuki blushes.} {singing as Chef.} Oh sweet, baby! Miyuki is her name! My name is Chef, and love-makin' is the game! {holds his hands up and jumps around like they do on South Park.} She's a beautiful lady, a sexy demon with hair of blue. Brace yourself, woman! I'll make hard love to you! {audience cheers and whistles as C.J. keeps jumping around.} Member of the Triad! Tough person to fight! When you come home, Chef will hold you tight! Make beautiful music together! Make love together! A wild love caper! You're pen and ink, I'm construction paper! {audience, Gamer, and Miyuki laughs.} Miyuki! Don't tremble to me sexy hand. We'll make sweet lov. {looks at her lap and yells in his normal voice.} YOU'RE A MAN!!! {falls down on the ground and backs away. Gamer, Miyuki, the performers and audience laughs wildly. C.J. gets up, runs to the back and acts like he's vomiting. He reluctantly walks back with a pale, scared face.} {as Chef} I just witnessed a horrible sight! Why didn't anyone tell me I'm singing to a transvestite?!?! {runs back to the back and fake vomits again.} {BUZZ} {the music stops and Miyuki walks back to her seat. The audience is still laughing.}  
  
Gamer: {laughing.} Lets give it up. HAHAHAHA!!! for Miyuki! HAHAHA!!! {C.J. puts the stool away and walks back to his seat with a pale face. The laughter slowly stops.} HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, man! That was funny! 1000 points.{looks at C.J.} You look a little pale there, C.J. You didn't happen to see the.  
  
C.J.: SHUT UP!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: {looks at the camera.} Aren't you glad this is a show the WHOLE family can watch? Mom and dad, the kids, grandma.  
  
C.J.: I'm going to a Strip Joint and drink until I pass out! {audience cheers and whistles.}  
  
Gamer: Are you sure she's. or he. wasn't a. "whatcamacallit?"  
  
C.J.: I don't think she was a candy bar. {audience and performers laugh.}  
  
Gamer: No! A. uh. {writes down something on a card, crumples it into a ball and throws it to C.J.. He catches it, unfolds it and reads it.}  
  
C.J.: {eyes bug out.} OH S*bleep*!!! {crumples up the card and throws it off stage. The audience goes wild.}  
  
Gamer: What do they call that?  
  
C.J.: Traumatizing!  
  
Gamer: {laughs.} Let's move on to game called Props! {Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara walk on stage.} {to C.J.} This is for everyone.  
  
C.J.: Okay. {walks on stage. The audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: {pulls from behind the desk two black, Styrofoam shark fin-like objects.} This is Mai and C.J.'s prop. {throws the fins to C.J. and Mai. He then pulls a giant, red, hollow, plastic mushroom top.} This is Gohan and Kuwabara's. {they take the prop.} The way this games works, the two teams have to go back and forth and find different uses for their prop. Starting with. Mai and C.J.  
  
C.J.: {he and Mai are holding the fins on their backs.} These shark costumes well scare the crap out of those beach heads! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}  
  
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}  
  
Gohan: {holding the prop over his head.} If you look real closely, you'll see me in the movie, Fantasia! {puts the prop on his head, crotches down and dances around.} {BUZZ} {the audience laugh and applaud.}  
  
{cut to Mai and C.J.}  
  
Mai: {holding the fins over C.J.'s head with the tip touching each other.} Look out! It's the crane!  
  
C.J.: AHH!!! {runs in place. The "crane"{ grabs his head.} NO!!! {gets pulled away.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}  
  
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan.}  
  
Kuwabara: {looking at the prop that's laying on the ground with the smooth part up.} If that missile takes off, we're dead!!! RUN! {he and Gohan run in place.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs.}  
  
{cut to Mai and C.J., They're wearing the fins on their heads. They are facing the right.}  
  
C.J. and Mai: We're evil Smurfs! We're evil Smurfs!!! {BUZZ} {the audience goes wild with laughter and applauds.}  
  
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are standing under the prop, holding it over there heads..}  
  
Gohan: We need a bigger umbrella. {Kuwabara nods his head.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs a little.}  
  
{cut to Mai and C.J. C.J. has the fins over his hands. He's on his knees.}  
  
C.J.: {barking and slapping his fins together like a seal.} Arf! Arf! Arf! {the audience laughs.}  
  
Mai: Catch! {acts like she's throwing a fish to him. He eats it.} Good boy! {BUZZ}  
  
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. They are holding different end of the prop and running around in a circle, giggling like child. The audience laughs and cheers.}  
  
Kuwabara and Gohan: HEHEHEHEHEHE! HEHEHEHEHEHE!  
  
Kuwabara: {lets go of the prop and spins away.} Whoa. {BUZZ}  
  
{cut to Mai and C.J. He walks near the back and holds the fins on the wall, making them resemble a beak. Mai is looking at him.}  
  
C.J.: I think you got TOO big a parrot, Mai! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
{cut to Kuwabara and Gohan. Gohan is holding the prop.}  
  
Gohan: Wanna see my autographed Pamela Anderson falsie? {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and applauds.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! That was awesome! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Stay right there!  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line!" Everything's made up and points don't matter. I'm Gamer, or as my Indian name is, "Wiener Tucked in Sock!" {audience laughs and whistles.} Lets go to a game called, Film, TV, and Theatre Styles! This is for Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara! {audiences cheers as they walk to the stage.} I need from the audience suggestions of styles of film, TV, or theatre. {audience shouts out suggestions.} .Mobster. West Side Story. Horror. Croc Hunter. Osbournes!. After School Special. That's enough. So anyway, our performers well act out a scene. When I buzz them, they have to act out the scene with a different style. And the scene is. {reads a card.} Mai is a beautiful bride about to marry Gohan, her groom. Kuwabara, however has feelings for her and is trying to stop the wedding. So anytime you're ready. go!  
  
Mai: {he and Gohan are holding hands.} Oh darling, I can hardly believe you and me shall be wed!  
  
Gohan: This is the second best wedding I ever had! {audience laughs.} I've had 6 so far!  
  
Mai: Hard to imagine they all left you for other men.  
  
Gohan: Yes. THEY.left me.  
  
Kuwabara: STOP!!! {jumps on stage.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Mobster!  
  
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} You're making a big mistake, chump! That last guy who interfered with my weddin' is wearing cement shoes at the bottom of Lake. I don't know which lake but it's a deep one!  
  
Mai: {loud, piercing voice.} {hugs Gohan.} Oh, Tommy! {audience cheers.} You sure know how to show a girl a good time!  
  
Kuwabara: {like the God-Father.} I've come tell ya, Angie. You can't marry this dirt bag. He's the one who ordered that hit man to whack your father!  
  
Mai: {piercing voice.} {to Gohan}You told me he fell on top of those bullets!  
  
Gohan: {mob boss voice.} I say lots of things, doll. Let's go get hitched before the drive-by shoots him and us with him. {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: West Side Story!  
  
{Kuwabara and Gohan walk in a circle, staring at each other and snapping their fingers.}  
  
Gohan: {singing.} When you're a groom, you always get the finest chicks! {audience cheers.}  
  
Kuwabara: {singing.} I feel pretty. {audience laughs loudly.} Ohh so pretty. I feel pretty! {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: {laughing.} I didn't think you'd know the words guys. uh. Horror!  
  
Mai: {whispering.} That sounded like bad singing! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kuwabara: I don't think we're alone. {looks at Gohan.} HE'S THE KILLER!!!  
  
Gohan: {pretends to vomit.} BLAH! {moves his hands up and down like he's throwing up his insides.} {audience screams.}  
  
Mai: {starts to run.} AHH! {pretends to trip.} THE BONE WENT THROUGH MY LEG!!! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Croc Hunter!!!  
  
{Mai starts crawling around the stage.}  
  
Kuwabara: {like Steve Irwin.} OH! CRIKEY! {Audience laughs and cheers.} {points to Mai.} A beautiful example of bride, right there! You have to be careful when handling her though! {slowly approaches Mai. Gohan starts to growl and chases after Kuwabara. They run around the stage.} Danger, Danger! The jealous mate has decided to guard his territory! {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Osbournes!  
  
Gohan: {mumbling like Ozzy.} {shouts} ROCK N' ROLL!!! {audience goes wild.}  
  
Mai: {laughing like Sharon.} Ozzy!  
  
Kuwabara: {like Jack.} Dad! The neighbors are BLOOP singing "I got the whole BLOOP world in my BLOOP hand!"  
  
Gohan: What the BLOOP do you want me to. {looks at the floor.} One of the BLOOP dogs BLOOP BLOOP on the BLOOP carpet!!! {audience laughs and cheers.}  
  
Mai and Kuwabara: {as Jack and Kelly.} TELL THE NEIGHBORS TO SHUT THE BLOOP UP!!!  
  
Gohan: STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!! {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: After School Special!  
  
Kuwabara: {to Gohan.} Hey man! You can marry her! Just remember! {looks at the camera.} Always use protection! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gohan: Don't worry man! I will. And don't forget! {looks at the camera.} Stay drug free!  
  
Mai: I'm so glad you two are friends again! And I learned something, too! {looks at the camera.} The easiest way is to cross your legs! {audience, Gamer and C.J. laugh hysterically} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Thanks a lot guys! {audience cheers as the performers return to their seats.} That was great! A hundred jillion points for you guys! {audience cheers.} But then again.  
  
The Performers: The points don't matter!  
  
Gamer: That's right! Let go to the next game. This is for everyone! {the performers walk to the stage.} This is called World's Worst! This way this game works, you have to stand on the world's worst step. {they stand on the bottom step. The order is C.J., Mai, Gohan, and Kuwabara.} A come up with examples of the worlds worst. {reads a card.} person to camp with.  
  
{C.J. walks up.} {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and C.J. glares at Gamer. He take a sep back. Kuwabara walks up.}  
  
Kuwabara: Just 4 more cans of propane and we'll have the biggest fire in the forest! {BUZZ} {the audience laughs and he takes a step back.}  
  
Mai: {walks up.} BEAR!!! {laughs.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She takes a step back.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up.} {female voice.} Hi! I'm Miyuki! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly. C.J. then covers his crotch and shakes his head. Audience laughs even more. He walks back.}  
  
Gohan: {walks up.} C'mon, Grandma! Let's go skinny-dipping!!! {BUZZ} {audience goes wild. He walks back.}  
  
Mai: {walks up.} I hope my jealous boyfriend don't find us. {whispering.} He's got a gun. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. She walks back.}  
  
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's holding a shotgun.} When I find the woman, I gonna pump her full of lead!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up, looks at the ceiling and points up.} That cloud kinda looks like a *bleep*! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and he walks back.}  
  
Gohan: {walks up.} No. Go ahead. Go take a bath. {turns his head and whispers to Kuwabara.} She's gonna take a bath. {Kuwabara smiles and nods.} {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as he walks back.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up and looks at the ceiling.} And that cloud looks like *bleep*! 'Cept bigger! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ} {he walks back.}  
  
Mai: {walks up.} I cut up the tent and made a summer outfit! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. {she pulls on the collar of her jacket.} Do you like it? {she walks back.}  
  
Kuwabara: {walks up. Acts like he's filling a hole with a shovel. He looks at the camera.} No. I DON'T know where the other campers went. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. Kuwabara acts like he's hitting someone with his shovel. He walks back.}  
  
Gohan: {walks up.} While you're taking a squat, I'll sing ya a hoe-down! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Gohan walks back.}  
  
{C.J. and Kuwabara both walk up. C.J. acts like he's playing a banjo. He then hums the Duel of Banjos from the movie, Deliverance. Kuwabara does the same. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
C.J.: Gonna make ya SQUEEEEEEAL like a piggy! {BUZZ} {audience laughs loudly and applauds as they walk back.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ{BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Hey! We'll find out who the winner is right after this!  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding. Mai, Gamer, C.J., and Gohan are on stage will Kuwabara is at the desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner, Mai Valentine! {the audience cheers.} So she gets to do a game with me called Foreign Film Dub! What happens is, me and Mai are going to act out a scene speaking in a foreign language and Gohan and C.J. have to translate what're we're saying. What I need from the audience is a foreign language. {audience shouts out suggestions.} German! We have to speak in German. And if you were a German director, what would your German romance movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Lederhosen! So the German movie is Lederhosen. Let's start. {C.J. and Gohan walk off stage.}  
  
Mai: {fake German accent.} Ack! Blitzkurg dosen klitz en Guntherbur!  
  
Gohan: Are you the famous exotic dancer, Guntherbur?  
  
Gamer: {fake German accent.} Han se eckin, for sekin! Ah stupilier alla bit shosh. Snicker crowbar!  
  
C.J.: I know my face isn't that good looking, but I am a hardcore dancer! {audience laughs.}  
  
Mai: {fake German.} Plotz! Scappin tack orkin. uh. Dammin and heir and!  
  
Gohan: You're personal said you will a tall, handsome young man. But you are the complete opposite! A not so tall, ugly, man! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: {fake German.} Docken blizgis untok grunta!  
  
C.J.: I can't lie to you! I love you! Please say you love me! I have a weasel in my shirt! {audience laughs.}  
  
Mai: {fake German} Lederhosen juz bouz giten blukan!  
  
Gohan: Put on this tight leather pants and dance around! {audience laughs. Mai acts like she handing Gamer pants. He acts like he's putting them on.}  
  
Gamer: {fake German.} Einen blakin lok. {singing and moving from left to right.} Hi horken, hi horken! Unden unten ein!  
  
C.J.: Watch my dance! {singing.} I'm drunk, doin' a tipsy dance! Oops! I crapped my pants! {audience goes wild. Mai and Gamer laugh, too.}  
  
Mai: {laughing.} {fake German accent.} Czec la slovin truin blitzhit donz grumpz!  
  
Gohan: Quick! Put this wig on! It'll cover your hideous head! {audience laughs as Mai acts like she's handing Gamer a wig. Gamer put it on.}  
  
Gamer: AH! {smiles.} {fake German accent.} Hollo tonk glitzen blitzen drickzen!  
  
C.J.: Even though my hair looks good, I am still the ugliest man in Germany! {audience laughs and applauds. Gamer hangs his head and laughs.}  
  
Mai: {fake German.} Aww. uberhor untersee booten blitznem gock! Moken tokin hock mockz!  
  
Gohan: Don't worry! You still look better than the one they call "Christopher Julius!" {audience, and all the other performers laughs out loud.} {BUZZ}{BUZZ}{BUZZ} {the audience starts applauding.}  
  
Gamer: That's all for tonight's show! See you again next time on "Whose Line is it Anyway!!!" {scene fades out.}  
  
NOTE: As a special Halloween fanfic, I'm writing a Halloween Style Whose Line is it Anyway: Anime Craze episode. It will have Halloween style games and I'll even have the performers and host wear Halloween costumes. The performers will be C.J., Yolei (from Digimon), Hiei (from YuYu Hakusho) and Kenshin (from Rurouni Kenshin). C.J. will be a vampire, and Gamer will be a werewolf. I need ideas for the others' costumes. So add a review and put in your ideas for the performers' costumes. On the 30th, I'll begin writing the story, so get your ideas in before then. Please add a review and tell me how you feel about this fanfic. 


	3. Happy Halloween!

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!, Halloween Style!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J., who's wearing a vampire costume.} I vant to suck your blood. Christopher Julius! {cut to Yolei (from Digimon.), who's wearing a witch's costume.} I get you and your little dog. Yolei! {cut to a hooded person in a black cloak.} {Gamer speaks a fake chant.} {person lifts off the hood exposing he's Hiei.} Hiei! And. {cut to Kenshin who's wearing a mad scientist costume.} It's alive! ALIVE! Kenshin! {cut to Gamer, who's in the audience and wearing a werewolf costume.} And I'm your host, Gamer! Lets have a spooky time! {walks to his desk.} Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.  
  
Yolei: That's a pretty realistic costume. Your face is so hairy.  
  
Gamer: About that, I haven't shaved in two days. {audience laughs.} But enough about that, lets go to our first game, Hollywood Director! This is for everyone. {the performers walk on stage.} C.J., Yolei, and Kenshin are going to act out a scene. Hiei, the director will interrupt and tell them to act it out with a different style that are on these cards. {hands Hiei the cards.} The scene is. {looks at his card.} Dr. Frankenstein, who is Kenshin, and his monster, who is C.J., is bringing to life the monster's bride, who is Yolei. And Hiei is the director, whenever you're ready.go!  
  
{Yolei is standing still with her eyes closed. Kenshin is looking at her.}  
  
Kenshin: {looks at C.J.} Can't you run any faster, monster? If that generator doesn't run, we'll never bring her to life!  
  
C.J.: {starts running in place.} {monster like voice.} Shouldn't we wait for a thunderstorm? That might be easier.  
  
Kenshin: I thought you were wanted her right now.  
  
C.J.: Got a point there. {starts running faster.} Must.bring.bride.to.life.Got.to.talk.this.way. {audience laughs.}  
  
{Yolei twitches around like she's being electrocuted. After a few seconds she stops and opens her eyes.}  
  
Kenshin: {looks at her.} She alive! ALIVE!!!  
  
{C.J. looks at her. Yolei looks at him.}  
  
Yolei: {screams when she sees C.J.} AHH!!! {looks at Kenshin.} AHH!!! {looks at her hands.} AHH!!!  
  
Kenshin: Apparently the lady is sugar-high! {audience laughs.} {Hiei walks on stage.}  
  
Hiei: {annoyed} Cut! Cut! Cut! {looks at C.J.} I don't want to say your performance was pathetic. it wasn't good enough to be that! {audience laughs.} {mimicking C.J.} Must.talk.like. What were you thinking?  
  
C.J.: I thought.  
  
Hiei: Shut up! You weren't thinking! {audience laughs. Looks at all 3 of them.} We need to do this another way. {pulls out a card.} Do it like a fast-paced game show! {audience laughs.} Make my 400+ fan girls happy. Action! {walks off stage.}  
  
Kenshin: {to C.J.} Welcome to "Get a Life!" You are just one question. Don't stop running! {C.J. starts running in place quickly.} One question from your prize! Are you ready?  
  
C.J.: Yeah!  
  
Kenshin: You sure?  
  
C.J.: Yeah!  
  
Kenshin: You sure?  
  
C.J.: Yeah!  
  
Kenshin: You sure? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {shouting.} Read me the question!!!  
  
Kenshin: Alright! The question is. {quickly.} "What is the correct answer to this question?  
  
C.J.: BUZZ! {quickly.} The correct answer to that question is the correct answer to that question! {audience roars with laughter.}  
  
Kenshin: BLING! BLING! BLING! {quickly.} That is correct! The correct answer to that question is the correct answer to that question. YOU WIN!!! {audience cheers.} Tell im' what he's won!  
  
Yolei: {quickly.} You won sweet and beautiful me! I will be your bride, 'til death do us part! As long as you die first! {audience laughs.} I will scream and claw at you all the time, but you'll get used to it!  
  
C.J.: {walks up to Yolei.} This is the happiest day of my life!  
  
Yolei: {looks at C.J.} AHH!!! {Audience laughs and cheers. Hiei comes back on stage.}  
  
Hiei: Cut! Cut! Cut!  
  
Yolei: How did I do?  
  
Hiei: You were great.  
  
Kenshin: How did I do?  
  
Hiei: You were great, too.  
  
C.J.:: How 'bout me?  
  
Hiei: Shut up! {audience laughs.} That wasn't the best way. We need. {looks at a card.} Something for the kids. Do it.like munchkins! {audience roars with laughter.} Action! {walks off stage. The performers get on there knees.}  
  
Kenshin: {high pitched munchkin voice.} We must bring her to life! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {starts running on his knees. The audience laughs and cheer.} {munchkin voice.} Follow the yellow-brick road! Follow the yellow-brick road!  
  
Kenshin: {munchkin voice.} We must sing her awake! {signing in the voice.} Ohhhhh. Ding-dong! She'll come to life! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {same voice.} Who'll come to life?  
  
Kenshin: {same voice.} She'll come to life! {Yolei opens her eyes and looks at C.J.}  
  
Yolei: {screams in a high pitched voice.} AHH!!!  
  
Kenshin: CRACK! {acts like he's taking off a pair of glasses.} Hmm. {audience laughs. Hiei walks on stage.}  
  
Hiei: Cut! Cut! Cut!  
  
C.J.:{munchkin voice.} Well? {gets up.} {normal voice.} Sorry. I was still in munchkin mode.  
  
Hiei: You sounded better that way, Now, we need something else. We need. {looks at a card.} comedy! Do it like insult comics! {audience laughs.} Look! {points to the audience.} They're already laughing! Action! {walks off stage.}  
  
Kenshin: {to C.J.} You're slower than yo' mama!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {Dennis Leary's voice.} She just stitched up dead body parts?! I'm not sleepin' {points to Yolei} with that!!! {audience roars with laughter.}  
  
Yolei: {screams at C.J.} You're uglier now than you was when you were IN PIECES!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: YO' MAMA!!!  
  
Kenshin: Yeah! YO' MAMA!!! {Hiei walks on stage.}  
  
Hiei: Cut! Cut! {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience cheer as the performers go to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: That was great! Well, usually we give out points, but since this is Halloween, I'm giving out. {Hiei crosses his fingers. Gamer pulls out a pillowcase.} CANDY!  
  
Hiei: Yes! {audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: {sticks his hand in the bag and throws a handful of candy at the performers. They all catch some.} Enjoy!  
  
Hiei: {eating a Snickers candy bar.} I think I like this show.  
  
{Yolei is eating a Smarties and Kenshin is eating some M&Ms.}  
  
C.J.: {he pours a whole box of lemon-heads in his mouth.} Damn! {his face scrunches up from the sour taste.}  
  
Gamer: You guys ready for the next game?  
  
C.J.: {puckered up from the taste.} Yeah. {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: {laughs.} Lets go to our next game, Duet! This is for C.J. and Hiei! {audience cheers as they come on stage. C.J. puts a stage in the middle.} You guys are gonna sing a song in a special style to a person from the audience. But we already chose the person. Come on out!  
  
{a teenage girl appears on the stool.}  
  
C.J.: {after seeing the girl.} Whoa! Where'd you come from?!  
  
Gamer: Guys. This is Miyu, The Vampire Princess. {audience cheers as Hiei and C.J. shake hands with her.} You've probably seen her show so you'll sing to her using her name and her show in the style of. {reads his card.} Rock! {audience cheers.} So when the music starts, go! {loud rock music starts playing. Hiei and C.J. act like they're playing guitars.}  
  
C.J.: YEAH! {singing.} There is a vampire princess, her name is Miyu! If you're a shinma, {points to the audience.} she'll hunt after you!  
  
Hiei: {singing.} She doesn't fly or float, or turn into mist. She's not a regular vampire, but she's the best on the list!  
  
C.J.: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! {the audience, Miyu and the performers applaud and cheer.}  
  
Hiei: {starts doing riffs on his "guitar".} Vampire Princess!  
  
C.J.: {singing.} Miyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! When you walk in the night, never fear. Shinma will be stopped by her, you bet! But if her eyes are gold, you better cover your neck! {audience cheers and Miyu laughs.}  
  
Hiei: Cover your neck! {singing.} She can turn invisible. That the best of luck! When it comes to blood, she thinks that it sucks! {audience and Miyu laugh.}  
  
C.J.: Don't try to stop her with a cross!  
  
Hiei: Not a cross!  
  
C.J.: Holy Water won't work!  
  
Hiei: Never the water!  
  
C.J.: She don't turn to stone in daylight!  
  
Hiei: Daylight! Not a stone!  
  
C.J.: And garlic. it stinks! {holds his nose.}  
  
Hiei: Garlic stinks! She's the vampire that'll always last! Dracula? She can kick his ass! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Vampire!!! Princess!!!  
  
Hiei and C.J.: MIYU!!! {music stops. The audience and Miyu applaud.} {BUZZ}  
  
{Miyu gets up and shakes hands with Hiei and C.J.}  
  
Gamer: {pulls out the bag.} Take whatever you want Miyu! {Miyu puts her hand in the bag and takes some candy. She then walks to a seat in the front row.} You too, guys! {Hiei and C.J. run up and takes two hands full of candy each and walk back to their seats.} Well, while you guys eat your candy, I'd like to give a special Happy Birthday shout-out to my little sister, Jennifer, who just turned 13 this week. {audience cheers and applauds.} Just think, I use to aggravate her when she was a child. Now I can aggravate her as a teen! {audience laugh.} {looks at Hiei and C.J. There are candy wrappers all over the floor.}  
  
Hiei: Lets go to the next game. I want more candy!  
  
Gamer: Don't worry about the mess. Union guys are screaming "Don't touch it!!!" Lets move to our next game, Questions Only! {audience cheers as the performers come on the stage.} The object of this game is our performers have to act out a scene speaking only in questions. Since its Halloween, we gave the scene a Halloween style. The scene is, going into a haunted house. So whenever your ready, take it away. {C.J. walks to the right off stage. Hiei, the left. Yolei and Kenshin are on stage.}  
  
Yolei: Did you hear that?  
  
Kenshin: Hear what?  
  
Yolei: You didn't hear it?  
  
Kenshin: Do I need to?  
  
Yolei: Wasn't that the howl of 300 pound, 6 foot, ugly, hairy bat with 8 eyes, bad breath, a horrible screech and was flying over our heads at about 70 miles per hour. {audience starts to laugh and cheer.} seeking its prey near the swamp adjacent to the graveyard about 3 miles south of this old abandon house owned by the ghost of a hideous vampire? {audience cheer and applaud.}  
  
Kenshin: {pause} Could you repeat that? {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: I.no. {BUZZ} {walks off stage as the audience laugh a little. C.J. walks on stage.}  
  
Kenshin: You own this house?  
  
C.J.: Who's asking?  
  
Kenshin: Didn't you see my mouth move?  
  
C.J.: You some sorta wise guy?  
  
Kenshin: Do you own the house?  
  
C.J.: Don't you know I'm just a plumber?  
  
Kenshin: Who lives here, then?  
  
C.J.: Can't you read? It says plumber! {runs his finger across the top corner of his shirt.}  
  
Kenshin: You don't know who lives here?  
  
C.J.: {runs his finger across the corner again.} Didn't I say I'm just a plumber? {audience laughs.}  
  
{Kenshin pauses. He walks off stage.} {BUZZ} {audience laugh and applaud. Hiei walks on stage.}  
  
Hiei: Who owns this place? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: For the last time! I'm just a. Dammit!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage. Yolei takes his place.}  
  
Yolei: Where'd the plumber go? {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Hiei: Do you know who I am?  
  
Yolei: {gasp} Are you the ghost?  
  
Hiei: {raises his hood.} {spooky voice.} Why don't you leave now?  
  
Yolei: Why should I?  
  
Hiei: Don't you know this house is haunted?  
  
Yolei: By who?  
  
Hiei: {pause} {lowers his hood.} I don't know. {BUZZ} {walks off stage. Kenshin takes his place.}  
  
Kenshin: Do you seek the ghost?  
  
Yolei: Do I?  
  
Kenshin: Do you now where to look?  
  
Yolei: Should I check the bathroom?  
  
Kenshin: Would you believe the ghost has a very weak bladder? {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: {pause.} I should go. {walks off stage.} {BUZZ} {C.J. takes her place.}  
  
Kenshin: Are YOU the vampire?  
  
C.J.: Am I?  
  
Kenshin: {points at his shirt.} Doesn't it say "Vampire" on the corner of your shirt? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {looks at the corner.} You know what? I does! {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience cheers as the performers return to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: We'll have more Whose Line is it Anyway right after this!  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{cut to the stage. The audience is applauding. C.J. is in his seat, holding in his left hand a toy caged skeleton.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter.}  
  
Toy: {C.J. waves his hand in front of it.} {spooky voice.} Happy Halloween!  
  
Gamer: You like that?  
  
C.J.: Sure do!  
  
Toy: {C.J. waves his hand in front of it, again.} Treat or Treat! Give me lots of candy!  
  
Gamer: Do it one more time.  
  
Toy:{C.J. waves his hand in front of it, one more time. Bad to the Bone starts playing.} On the day that I was born! Nurses all gathered 'round!  
  
C.J.: {singing along.} Gazed at the wide wonder! Of the joy that they found! {audience cheers.} Head nurse spoke up! Said leave this one alone! She could tell right away! That I was bad to the bone!  
  
Gamer: Alright, let's move onto, Hey You Down There! This is for C.J., Hiei, and Kenshin. {they come to the stage.} C.J. and Hiei are gonna to act out a 50s information film scene, and Kenshin will be off stage as the voice over narrator, prompting them to do something. Since this is Halloween, you two will be doing a How to Treat or Treat information film. So whenever you're ready, go! {peppy music starts playing.}  
  
Kenshin: {off-screen.} Hey you down there! {Hiei and C.J. look around for the voice.} Up here!!! {Hiei and C.J. look up and act shocked.} No, I'm not God. {audience laughs. C.J. and Hiei goes on there knees and bow up and down to the voice.} Hey! Get up! {they get up.} I'm just a dis-figured mysterious voice. {C.J. and Hiei nod their heads.} I'm gonna teach you how to Trick or Treat! Looks like you already got your costumes. {Hiei and C.J. look at their outfits.} So know we're ready to practice Trick or Treating. C.J., act like you're holding a bowl of candy. {C.J. does that.} Hiei. How do you get candy from him? {Hiei looks at C.J. and raises his index finger and thumb and points it to C.J. like a gun. C.J. quickly raises his arms.} That's not right! C.J., show him how to get candy. Hiei, hold the bowl. {Hiei does as told. C.J. fakes punches Hiei in the eye and takes the "bowl" and runs. The audience laughs.} No! That not way! If you want candy, just say, "Trick or Treat!" Got it? {Hiei and C.J. nod their heads.} Alright, go out the door. You're ready for candy. {they walk around the stage.} There's a house! It has candy! {C.J. and Hiei face the audience.} Remember what to do? {They nod their heads.} Okay! Knock on the door. {C.J. pretends to knock on a door.} Someone's answering. They open the door and. shut it in your face! {C.J. and Hiei's smiles fade.} Looks like they don't have any candy. What are you going to do now? {C.J. and Hiei point their fingers toward the audience a out like they're shouting by moving their mouths. The audience laughs.} No! Don't shout obscenities to the house. {Hiei is stomping the ground.} Don't crush the pumpkins! {C.J. reaches for the fly of his pants.} HEY!!! HEY!!! HEY!!! {C.J. stops and the audience goes wild with laughter. Gamer is also laughing hysterically.} C.J., You don't {laughs.} You don't relieve yourself on the front door. {audience laughs and applauds.} You go to the next house! {Hiei and C.J. walk around for a while.} Another house. {they face the audience again, C.J. knocks on the door.} Someone is coming! {Hiei and C.J. are smiling.} It's a lady with a huge plastic candy bowl! She put something in your bags! {C.J. and Hiei look at their "bags."} She gave you. apples! {C.J. and Hiei's smiles fade.} Looks like no candy. What do you do now? {Hiei walks to the back of the stage and comes back. He's pretending to hold a small bag.} What's in the bag? {C.J. takes the "bag" and pretends to light it with a lighter. He sets down in front of the door. The audience laughs.} Was that a flaming bag of doggy doo-doo? {C.J. and Hiei run around.} Ohh, you two. That wasn't nice. {Hiei and C.J. pretend to laugh. They look to the right.} That's a empty house. There no can. {Hiei and C.J. walk to the right.} What are you doing? {C.J. pretends to pick up a rock. He throws it to the right.} You smashed the window! {Hiei and C.J. crawl into the "window"} Where are you going? {they come out like they're both carrying a heavy object.} Put that TV back! {audience laughs. Hiei and C.J. run away.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: {as the performers return to their seats.} {laughing.} That was great! Give them a hand for that one! {the audience applauds.} {still laughing.} Oh my God. that was so funny! Hey this house don't have any candy, lets take the TV! {audience laughs.} Oh man. I liked when you were about to pee on the door. That was funny.  
  
C.J.: That's the way I used to do it. If the house was empty, you tell the other kids by takin' a whiz on the front door. {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: {reaches into the bag of candy and throw two handfuls at the performers.} You deserve this guys! {the performers grab some candy.} Let go to a game called, Sound Effects! {audience cheers.} This is for Yolei and Kenshin. {goes into the audience as the performers come on stage. Gamer goes to the top row.} {to the people in the seats.} You are?  
  
Oak: Professor Samuel Oak.  
  
Gamer: {to the person next to him.} And you are?  
  
Delila: Delila Ketchum.  
  
Gamer: Congratulations! You've been chosen for our next game! {audience applauds and Oak and Delila follow Gamer to the stage.} Kenshin, this is Professor Oak.  
  
Kenshin: How's it going? {shakes hands with Oak.}  
  
Gamer: Yolei, this is Delila Ketchum.  
  
Yolei: How do you do? {shakes hands with Delila.}  
  
Gamer: Now the way this game works, Kenshin and Yolei are going to act out a scene. Professor Oak and Delila will, when prompted to, provide the sound effects. Oak will do the sound effects for Kenshin and Delila for Yolei. {walks to his desk and reads a card.} The scene is, Kenshin and Yolei are Trick or Treaters who get lost in the woods. And Oak and Delila will provide the sound effects. Go!  
  
Kenshin: Hand me a egg, real quick. I wanna nail that house! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: {pretends to hand Kenshin a egg.} Here you go.  
  
Kenshin: {to the house.} Give me a apple, will you? {throws the egg.}  
  
Oak: Crack!  
  
Kenshin: Apparently, I didn't throw it hard enough! {looks on the ground. The audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: Watch me! {throws a egg. Nothing happens.} I missed. Lets go somewhere else.  
  
Delila: Crack!  
  
Kenshin: There it is! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: That house was farther than I thought!  
  
Kenshin: Anything from that house? {points to the back.}  
  
Yolei: No candy.  
  
Kenshin: Excuse me. {reaches for his zipper. The audience laugh.} Uh! It seems to be stuck!  
  
Oak: Ziiiip!  
  
Kenshin: Be right back. {turns around, facing his back to the audience. They laugh and cheer hysterically. Oak and Delila are laughing, too. He turns around.} Nothing! Guess I didn't have to go.  
  
Yolei: You know. The way you were laughing back there, you'd think you were doing something else. {audience and Gamer laughs.} If you know what I mean.  
  
Kenshin: Is that a forest? {points to the right.}  
  
Yolei: If we go through it, we'll end up at. {pause.} Well, lets go! {they walk around until they stop in the middle of the stage.} That sounds like a owl.  
  
Delila: Hoo.hoo.hoo.  
  
Yolei: And a the wind is blowing.  
  
Delila: {slight blowing.}  
  
Yolei: Is that a leprechaun?! {audience laughs.}  
  
Delila: I'm a leprechaun! A leprechaun! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: He wants us to know what he is!  
  
Kenshin: Listen! It sound like a.  
  
Oak: Grrrrrrrrrr.  
  
Kenshin: It's a vacuum cleaner! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yolei: We better run! {they start running in place.}  
  
Oak and Delila: .pant.uh. hah..hah.  
  
Yolei: Stop! {they all stop.} Listen to that sound! Is that a werewolf?  
  
Delila: Grrrrrr. reow.  
  
Kenshin: It's far away!  
  
Oak and Delila: GRRRRRRRR. GROWL.  
  
Kenshin: {shouting.} THERE'S A WHOLE PACK OF THEM! {audience laughs.} THEY'RE CLOSE!!!  
  
Delila: Snarl!  
  
Yolei: We're surrounded! What can we do?  
  
Kenshin: Wait a minute! Werewolves can only walk around on a full-moon, right?  
  
Yolei: Yes!  
  
Kenshin: I'll blow up the moon!!! {audience laugh.} That God I'm wearing my DBZ outfit! {looks at the ceiling. He holds out his hand.} I'll charge up!  
  
Oak: {slowly} Woooooooooooo.  
  
Yolei: That'll take forever! I better help. {looks at the ceiling and holds out her hand.}  
  
Delila: Shoo...shoo.shoo.shoo.shoo. {audience laughs.}  
  
Kenshin: On the count of three, fire your energy! 1-2-3!  
  
Oak and Delila: KA-BOOOM!!!  
  
Yolei: Someone destroyed the moon before us. {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers.}  
  
Gamer: We'll be right back with more Whose Line and find out who the winner is. Don't go away!  
  
}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding. C.J., Gamer, Hiei, and Kenshin are standing on the stage in a row.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner. Yolei! {Yolei is at the desk applauding.} An the rest of us has to do a game called, Irish Drinking Song! {the audience cheer.} We are going to make up a Irish drinking song, singing one line at a time. And what are we singing about, Yolei?  
  
Yolei: The Halloween party Irish drinking song!  
  
Gamer: The Halloween party Irish drinking song! Let's go! {piano music starts playing.}  
  
All: Ohhhh. Ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-di!  
  
C.J.: I went to Halloween party!  
  
Gamer: I was happy as can be!  
  
Hiei: It was the best there was!  
  
Kenshin: I got drunk you see!  
  
C.J.: I filled up on candy!  
  
Gamer: I filled up on beer!  
  
Hiei: I got hit by a car!  
  
Kenshin: I went as a deer! {audience laughs.}  
  
All: Oh. Ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-di!  
  
Gamer: The music was a-loud!  
  
Hiei: I went on the dance floor!  
  
Kenshin: Everyone laughed at me!  
  
C.J.: I peed on the front door! {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Gamer: {laughing.} Boy, how embarrassing!  
  
Hiei: I didn't care!  
  
Kenshin: I just wanted to have fun!  
  
C.J.: I leaked like a bear! {audience laughs.}  
  
All: Oh. Ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-di!  
  
Hiei: It got darker outside!  
  
Kenshin: I was pretty scared!  
  
C.J.: We went out the house!  
  
Gamer: Tempers started to flare!  
  
Hiei: People wanted to stay inside!  
  
Kenshin: People wanted out!  
  
C.J.: I got hit in the face!  
  
Gamer: A leprechaun knocked me out! {audience laughs.}  
  
All: Oh. Ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-di!  
  
Kenshin: Now for the costume contest!  
  
C.J.: I was gonna win!  
  
Gamer: No one's costume was like mine!  
  
Hiei: It was made of tin!  
  
Kenshin: I won first place!  
  
C.J.: I don't mean to sound rude!  
  
Gamer: My suit was the best!  
  
Hiei: I went as a nude! {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
All: Oh. Ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-ide-di! Oh. Ide-ide-ide-ide {ending.} Di-de-di- de-DIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!! {music stops and the audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: That's all for "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Happy Halloween!!!  
  
{scene fades out.} 


	4. Episode 4

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} The Guardian of Little Tokyo. Christopher Julius! (from my SPC fanfic.) {cut to Megaman. (The one from NT Warrior)} Warrior of the World Wide Web. Megaman! {cut to Spike.} Bounty Hunter of the galaxy. Spike Spiegel! (from Cowboy Bebop) and. {cut to Yamcha.} The "insert title here" of "insert location here." Yamcha! (from DBZ) {cut to Gamer in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! Let's have some fun! {walks to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. The points are like what Bill Clinton is doing right now. {audience laughs.} Doesn't mean a thing. Since your probably familiar with the show, I'll tell there can only be one winner tonight, they have to something special with me. I can't tell you what it is, but I can tell you we need tapioca and a monkey. {audience laughs.} Let's go to our first game, Newscasters! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performer walk on stage. Spike and Megaman grab two stools.} In this game, our performers will act out a fake news show. Spike is the anchor and the others must act out a strange quirk or identity. Megaman is the co-anchor, and he's Spike's annoying mother-in-law! {audience laugh.} Yamcha is the sportscaster, and he's Richard Simmons! {Yamcha has a look of disbelief and the audience laugh and cheer.} And C.J. is the weatherman, and his body has been taken over by Satan, {audience laughs.} And he is predicting the Apocalypse. So pretend it's the weekend! {audience laughs as C.J. glares at Gamer.} So when you hear the music, take it away! {news show music starts playing.}  
  
Spike: Good evening. Welcome to the 6 o'clock news, I'm you're anchor, Harden Fast. {audience laugh.} Our top story, 30 monkeys were put in a room with 30 typewriters and left there for 2 hours. In that time, they came up with the Fox Fall TV schedule. {audience laugh and cheer.} And now, we take it to my lovely mother-in-law, Anita Bath. {audience laughs..}  
  
Megaman: (Spike's annoying mother-in-law.) {angry, old lady voice.} Don't give me that lovely crap, you pathetic shell of a man! You're not good enough for my daughter! {audience laughs.} She told me that all you talk about is monkeys and typewriters! And she's sick of it! And so am I! {audience laugh and cheer.} You don't even call, write, or drop by to say hi! I live right next door! I don't know what she sees in you, you're nothing but a simple news anchor who wouldn't know what honoring wedding vows if it bit you In the ass! {the audience laugh and cheers.} She what you made me do?! You made me curse! I'll never get to heaven now! Back to you!  
  
Spike: {stunned.} Thank you, Anita. In other news, monkeys and typewriters are a great team! {audience laugh.} And now for the sports with I.P Freely. {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: (Richard Simmons) {clapping his hands and stepping back and forth. Audience is cheering.} {Richard Simmon's voice.} A lot happened in sports today! But only because those athletes weren't on their cubby rears, eating bon-bons! {turns to Megaman and Spike. Raising his hands up and down.} C'mon ladies! Time to get the flab off your buns and shake! {Spike and Megaman get up. They all start doing jumping jacks.} And 2! And 3! And 1 and 2 and 3! High kick! {does a high kick. The audience start cheering. He lays down and starts rolling his legs around in the air.} Back to you! {audience is applauding.}  
  
Megaman: {to Spike.} You see that! I bet you he makes his wife happy. {audience laughs. Spike whispers in his ear.} [shocked] No! That's just a sick rumor made by jealous fat people!  
  
Spike: Let's take it over to weather with our weatherman, Harry Showerdrain! {audience laughs.} Harry?  
  
C.J.: (Body has been taken over by Satan and he's predicting the Apocalypse) Well, we've had some weird weather. But today, it's gonna be sunny and warm. {voice slowly deepens.} But clouds will be former over the planet and start raining. {voice is demonic.} Blood! {audience laughs.} Blood and bones! Volcanoes with erupt! Dams will bust! And the 4 Horsemen will come and decapitate you!!! {audience laugh and cheer.} {normal voice.} And tomorrow, the sun will come out and. {demonic voice.} This lowly weatherman have served his purpose. I must find a new messenger of death! {looks at Megaman, the audience cheers. He slowly walks to him.}  
  
Megaman: You better stay away! You sacrilegious demon from Hell! You are the most wicked being there is! Next to him! {points to Spike. The audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {demonic voice.} I concur. There is no evil greater than that! {points to Megaman. Audience laughs. C.J. looks at Yamcha.}  
  
Yamcha: {Richard Simmon's voice.} C'mon Mister Demon! We can't strike fear into the hearts of millions with a flabby stomach! And 2 and 3! {starts stretching his arms. C.J. walks up and starts choking him.} GAK! {after the audience laugh, C.J. falls to the floor and Yamcha slowly turns to the audience.} {demonic Richard Simmon's voice.} Time to dance your way into Doom's Day. {starts stretching again.} And 2. And 3. {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: That's all for the 6 o'clock news. Join us for the 6:03 news in 2 minutes. {ending fanfare.} {BUZZ} {everyone returns to their seats as the audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: I'm gonna give you guys 1000 jumbo points! {audience cheers.} Their just like points 'cept worth a lot less. Lets go to a game. this was actually selected by a fan who sent in a request via the internet. Song Styles! {C.J. walks to the stage and gets a stool. Gamer goes to the front row. And sees someone sitting in seat, surrounded by 6 women.} You. What's your name?  
  
Person: Tenchi Masaki. (from Tenchi Muyo!)  
  
C.J.: All those girls with ya?  
  
{Tenchi nods his head. Sitting next to him is Ryouko on one side, Aeka on the other. Sasami, Mihoshi, Kiyone, and Washuu are behind him. Ryooki is on his shoulder.}  
  
Gamer: Big party there. C'mon down! {he and Tenchi head to the stage. C.J. heads for Tenchi's seat.} {to C.J.} Where ya goin'?  
  
C.J.: {sits in Tenchi's seat.} Enjoyin' the show so far, girls? {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Ya gotta sing the song!  
  
C.J.: I quit the show! Tenchi looks he can sing! Let him do it! It's easy! Do this. {singing.} Let's do another hoe-down! This make 300 now! {audience laughs. He gets up and gets back on stage. Tenchi is already sitting in the stool and Gamer is at the desk.}  
  
Gamer: Now like I said, this was sent to me via e-mail, so you are gonna sing to Tenchi in the style of the Village People. {audience laugh and cheer.} And guess what? {pulls out a police officer hat and a construction worker hat.} Here's your hats! {C.J. walks up and grabs both hats. He puts on the police hat and gives Tenchi the worker hat. Tenchi puts it on.} {to the sitting performers.} Hey guys! {pulls out a box of hats.} You're doing back-up! {audience cheers as they come down and get their hats. Megaman has the biker hat and glasses, Spike has the sailor hat, Yamcha the Indian feathers. They stand on the stage in the back.} Man! You guys look more messed up than usual.  
  
Spike: I feel like the boy on the crackerjack box. {audience laugh as he strikes the pose.}  
  
Gamer: You must got a baaaaaaad prize, then. {audience laughs.} So when the music starts, take it away guys! {YMCA (without the lyrics) starts playing. The audience claps in tune with it.}  
  
{the performers are facing their backs toward the audience and are dancing like the Village People do. The audience cheers as they turn around.}  
  
C.J.: {singing.} There's a young man in the place, 6 women on his case! He's Tenchi! {performers in the back are dancing as he sings.} Wielder of the sword of fame, conveniently has the same name, he's Tenchi! Tenchi! Has 6 women, you know! Tenchi! I'd rather be on HIS show! Tenchi! Because you see! I wish 6 girls could fight over me! {audience cheers.} He's Tenchi! T- E-N-T-C-H-I! {Tenchi and the audience laughs.} Tenchi! T-E-N-T-C-H-I! Tenchi! He's Tenchi!  
  
Other performers: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!  
  
C.J.: Tenchi! {tempo starts to speed up. Audience laugh as the performers dance faster.} {singing fast.} Tenchi! 6 women fight. Tenchi! Ing over him! Tenchi! T-E-N-T- Tenchi! C-H-I! Tenchi! All the girls love him! {quickly.} This song got so damn fast, I can't rhyme! {audience and Tenchi laughs. He starts dancing along with the others.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: {laughing uncontrollable.} That's was the funniest damn song ever! {to a stage hand.} What happened?  
  
Stage Hand: The system had a bug in it. I'm sorry.  
  
Gamer: Don't apologize! It's okay. Who really noticed? {audience laughs.} Still, that was funny.  
  
Megaman: {to the other performers.} Alright, at 2nd verse, we give 'em a full-blown polka! {audience laughs.} Keep your ears open, cause when the tempo changes, this *bleep* takes off! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Okay! Thanks a lot Tenchi! {Tenchi walks back to his seat, the audience cheers. The performers head back to their seats.} 1000 points to the music guys! {audience laughs.} And 1000 to Tenchi, or as C.J. spells it, TENTchi. {audience laugh.}  
  
C.J.: Did I really spell it.  
  
Gamer: T-E-N-T-C-H-I! Tentchi! {audience laughs.} Tentchi! Tentchi!  
  
C.J.: You try spelling at 300 *bleep* beats per minute!  
  
Gamer: {audience laughs.} If this ever makes it to air, I'm be so impressed! Tentchi! Let's move on. Tentchi!  
  
C.J.: I know! I know! Read your card!  
  
Gamer: Our next game, Narrate! This is for Megaman and Yamcha! {audience cheers as they come on stage.} You two are gonna act out a Film Noir scene at an unusual location. Audience, give me an unusual location for a Film Noir scene. {audience shout out suggestions.} Circus! The circus! So whenever you're ready, Film Noir scene at the circus. {slow piano music starts playing. Yamcha pretends to juggle. Audience laughs.}  
  
Megaman: {walks up to the camera (close up)} About a week ago.no, last Tuesday. maybe 3 years. no, yesterday. {audience cheers.} The Maltese Rubber Nose was stolen. And it was up to me to get it. My search led me to this circus. And I saw the crook. He stood out like a sore thumb. {walks back.} {to Yamcha.} I finally found you, ya stinkin' mime! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: {close up.} {he starts doing the mime trapped in the box act. The audience laugh and cheer. He points at Megaman.} I'm just glad he doesn't know what I'm saying. {walks back.} {to Megaman.} Truth is. I'm not a mime. {pretends to have hair come out of the side of his head.  
  
Megaman: {close up.} When I saw those two bats come out of his head. {audience laughs.} it took me by surprise. That's when I realized his nose was fake. I put 2 and 2 together. That make 22. {audience laugh. He walks back.} {to Yamcha.} Where's the Maltese Nose?  
  
Yamcha: {close up.} I recognized him. He was the worst clown there ever was. The only thing he could make with balloons was. well, let's just say his name was *bleep* the Clown. {audience laugh and go wild. He walks back.} {to Megaman} I don't know where the nose is. Why don't you make like your name and blow? {audience laugh, cheer, and applaud. Gamer is cracking up.}  
  
Megaman: If you just give the nose, I'll leave. {close up.} I had a plan. I big plan. But it required steady hand, fast wit, and it must be flawless. {walks back. Points behind Yamcha.} What's that? {Yamcha looks back and Megaman pretends to pull off his nose.} Got your nose. {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: Looks like you caught me. {close up.} He thought he caught. But I too had a plan. {walks back, pretends to blow-up a long balloon, and acts like he's twisting it around. He holds out his thumb and index finger like a gun.} Stick 'em up! {audience laughs.}  
  
Megaman: {close-up.} He points a balloon gun at me. I didn't want to know if it shot real bullet, though. So I had to think fast. {walks back.} Tell ya what. I'll let you keep the nose on one condition. Make me a star again.  
  
Yamcha: Okay. Why not? {close up.} It'd be hard trying to make him a star again. He has a face only a mother could love, if she blind in both eyes. {audience laughs and cheers. He walks back.} Alright. Make me a balloon animal.  
  
Megaman: {close up.} Now I was in trouble. It's been 5 years since I made one. I made the only thing I could think of. {walks back and moves his hands around like he's twisting around a balloon.}  
  
Yamcha: {close up.} Wanna know what he made? Need I remind you what his name was? {BUZZ} {audience laughs and applauds.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Don't go anywhere. "Whose Line is it Anyway?" will be right back, after this!  
  
}}commercial break.{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Hey. And if we have any fathers out there, {waves his hands in defense.} Your 17-year-old daughter came on to me! {audience laughs.} Let's move on to Theme Restaurant. This is for everyone. {all the performers walk on stage. They carry over a small table and 2 chairs.} Megaman and Yamcha are at a restaurant and C.J. and Spike are the waiters. The problem is, the restaurant has a strange theme, and that theme is. {reads a card.} Prison Life. So whenever you're ready, Prison Theme Restaurant!  
  
{Megaman and Yamcha sit down.}  
  
Megaman: Thank you for inviting to me to your business lunch, boss.  
  
Yamcha: Don't mention it. Have you ever eaten here?  
  
Megaman: No, sir.  
  
Yamcha: This place is great. I tell ya.  
  
C.J.: BUZZ! {gruff voice.} Ready to order, maggots!? {audience laugh as he walks up, pretending to swing a Billy Club around.} {to Yamcha} Up against the wall! {Yamcha gets up and pretend to lean against a wall.} Spread em', punk!!! {Yamcha spreads his legs and arms and C.J. pats the side of him, looking for weapons. The audience laugh and applaud.} You're good! {Yamcha sits back down.}  
  
Yamcha: Could we start with appetizers?  
  
C.J.: All we got is bread'n water! {looks at Megaman. Gets close to his face and stares angrily in his eyes.} You got somethin' to say to me, boy? {audience laughs.} Or do I gotta bust your fat head?  
  
Megaman: um. no. Bread and water sounds good.  
  
C.J.: I thought so. {walks away.} {shouts.} Time to order, you lowly maggots! {audience applauds.}  
  
Megaman: The.uh. waiter seem nice, sir.  
  
Yamcha: They all are! Very nice.  
  
{Spike walks up, pretending to be handcuffed.}  
  
Spike: Who ordered the bread and water?  
  
Megaman: I did.  
  
Spike: {gets closer to Megaman.} Listen, kid. You and me are in this together.  
  
Megaman: We are?  
  
Spike: That's right. Just remember the most important rules. One, don't make eye contract wit' the guards. Two, always watch yo' back. And three, if ya drop the soap in da shower, DON'T pick it up! {audience laugh. Spike walks off.}  
  
Yamcha: Very important rules, you better follow them.  
  
Megaman: I will, I will!  
  
{the table starts shaking. Out from under it comes C.J., pretending to pant hard.}  
  
C.J.: {looks around.} Dammit! I'm back where I started! {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: WOO! WOO! WOO! PRISONBREAK!!! {C.J. starts running around and Spike follows, trying to catch him. The audience is roaring with laugher and applauding. C.J. jumps over then table and into the audience. Spike follows and they run back stage. The audience applauds.} Get back here!  
  
Megaman: Lot of action here.  
  
Yamcha: Action is good! Action is good!  
  
Spike: {walks up to Megaman.} Hey, boy. I want you to know somethin'. You're my girl now. {audience laugh and cheer.} You don't speak 'til I say so. You don't walk 'til I say so. And when I say bend down, you bend down! {audience laugh.} Got it?  
  
Megaman: {nervous} G-got it.  
  
{Spike walks off.}  
  
Yamcha: Waiters are very nice here.  
  
Megaman: uh. Sir, I'm starting to feel really uncomfortable here.  
  
{C.J. walks up.}  
  
C.J.: Hey, girl. Guess what time it is.  
  
Yamcha: I know. {gets out of his seat and bends down. Audience roars with laughter.} {BUZZ} {the performers head to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: Boy, you guys sure know a lot about prison life.  
  
C.J.: I'm gonna have nightmares about this show.  
  
Gamer: Any of your girlfriends watching, guys?  
  
Spike: I'll be in therapy if you need me. {audience laugh.}  
  
Gamer: Let's go on to The Millionaire Show! {audience cheers.} This is for everyone! {all the performers walk on stage. They grab two chairs and put them on stage.} Now, Yamcha is a contestant on a game show, hosted by Spike. Megaman will be the friend in the audience, and C.J. is the phone-a- friend. What we need from the audience is a strange theme or style of the show. {looks at the audience. They are shouting out suggestions.} Old people version. So whenever you guys are ready, the old person version of "The Millionaire Show." {C.J. walks to the side of the desk and Megaman goes into the audience. Yamcha and Spike sit in the chairs.}  
  
Spike: Welcome back to "How wants to get enough money to retire and never have to work at a crappy job again!" {audience laugh and cheer.} {to Yamcha, who is pretending to sleep.} Hey! Wake up!  
  
Yamcha: {wakes up.} Huh? What?  
  
Spike: Do you wanna be a millionaire?  
  
Yamcha: {old man's voice.} {holds his ear closer.} Ay?  
  
Spike: Do you wanna be a millionaire?  
  
Yamcha: Ay? Say that again?  
  
Spike: Just say yes.  
  
Yamcha: Ay?  
  
Spike: Say yes!  
  
Yamcha: Ay?  
  
Spike: {quickly.} We'll take that as a yes! {audience laughs.} Tell everyone your name.  
  
Yamcha: My name is Old Man Jenkins. You can call me Old Man. I have every old folk disease from A, Alzheimer's to Z, {pause} Whatever disease starts with Z. {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: You have 2 questions.  
  
Yamcha: Ay?  
  
Spike: {loudly and slowly.} You.have.two.questions.left.as.well.as.two.life.lines!  
  
Yamcha: {pause} Ay?  
  
Spike: Just get to the question! {audience laughs.} Your first question: Blue and red are. A: Purple. B: Two different colors. C: The color of the pretty pills I take everyday. {audience laugh.} or D: THOSE DAMN NEIGHBOR KIDS!!! {audience laugh and cheer.} {Yamcha is pretending to sleep.} WAKE UP!!!  
  
Yamcha: What? Oh. That's a tough one. Kinda reminds me of the time me and the missus went out for bean burrito. Needless to say, I'd be passing the old wind for a while. {audience laugh.}  
  
Spike: Get to the answer!  
  
Yamcha: I'm going to get my friend, Mumbles from the audience to answer.  
  
Spike: Mumbles? {looks at the audience.} Mumbles! You up there?  
  
Megaman: {mumbling unintelligible.}  
  
Yamcha: Mumbles! Use your voice box thingy.  
  
Megaman: {pretends to hold something against his neck.} {mumbling.} Yeah. what.is it?  
  
Yamcha: The answer A, B, C, or D?  
  
Megaman: Ay?  
  
Yamcha: A?  
  
Megaman: {mumbles.} No, AY!!!  
  
Yamcha: You Canadian? {audience laughs.}  
  
Megaman: {mumbles.} Go with C!  
  
Yamcha: Ay?  
  
Megaman: No! B! {audience laugh.}  
  
Yamcha: You think I should go wit D?  
  
Megaman: Ay?  
  
Yamcha: C? {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Megaman: That one! Go with B!  
  
Yamcha: Okay! {turns to Spike.} He says it's D.  
  
Spike: That your final answer?  
  
Yamcha: A!  
  
Spike: {louder} IS THAT YOUR FINAL ANSWER!?  
  
Yamcha: I heard ya! Change it to A!  
  
Spike: You want A?  
  
Yamcha: No C! {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: D?  
  
Yamcha: B!  
  
Spike: C!  
  
Yamcha: How 'bout A!  
  
Spike: Okay, D is your final answer. {audience laughs. Spike shakes his head.} You come on my show. Give stupid answers. And you're ON YOUR WAY TO A MILLION DOLLARS!  
  
Yamcha: What?! {audience cheers and applaud..} {he starts hitting his chest with his fist.} {old man's voice.} You shouldn't surprise an old man like that!  
  
Spike: Excited?  
  
Yamcha: You bet! I just made a mess in my rubber pants. {audience laugh loudly.}  
  
Spike: {pause.} I'm gonna sit over here now. {moves his chair 3 steps away from Yamcha.} Let's move on to our next question.  
  
Yamcha: Yeah! {wheezes and hits his chest again.} I'm.having.a.stroke. Hurry and read it!  
  
Spike: Here is the question. The capital of Japan is A: Toyko. B: The "J". {audience laugh and cheer.} C: Kyoto. D: WHO STOLE MY MEDICATION?!?! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: Can I make a call to my family? God knows if I don't call them myself, I'll never speak to them. Ever since they put me in the home, they don't visit. They don't call. They don't.  
  
Spike: {interrupts.} Okay! You're boring me! {audience laughs.} Our ratings dropped 7 points for that rambling!  
  
Yamcha: Sorry. I'd like to call my lazy, grandson, Davie, who never learned the value of a dollar.  
  
Spike: We'll get him on the line. Davie! You there?  
  
C.J.: {over the phone.} This better be good! The phone sex hotline is $5:95 a minute! {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: Believe me! I know! We got your grandpa here.  
  
C.J.: Did he escape from the home, AGAIN? {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: No. He's on The Millionaire Show!  
  
C.J.: Oh! I watch that show all the time!  
  
Spike: Really?  
  
C.J.: No! Never seen it! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: Sonny boy. Is that you?  
  
C.J.: Who are you?  
  
Yamcha: {scratches his head.} I forget.  
  
Spike: This is your grandpa, and he's one question away from a million dollars!  
  
C.J.: Is that a lot? {audience laughs.}  
  
Yamcha: I remember now! Is the answer A, B, C, or D? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: It helps if I know the question, you old.  
  
Yamcha: Capital of Japan! Didn't you learn it in school?  
  
C.J.: I'm 49 years old, for God's sake.  
  
Yamcha: Then how old am I? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: The capital is J!  
  
Yamcha: J isn't a choice. You only got A, B, C, D.  
  
C.J.: Can I go now?  
  
Yamcha: Yeah sure. By the way. You're out of my will.  
  
C.J.: {shouting.} WHAT!?!? {audience laughs and cheers.} You old son of a.  
  
Spike: {interrupts.} Bye, Davie! {to Yamcha.} So you chose J?  
  
Yamcha: No B!  
  
Spike: B is the J!  
  
Yamcha: BJ? {shakes his head.} You got a sick mind. {audience laugh and cheers.}  
  
Spike: So you choose J?  
  
Yamcha: Yeah!  
  
Spike: Okay. {shakes his head.} Be lucky that you kicked your grandson of your will. That way you can SPEND ALL THE MONEY YOU WANT!!! You win! {audience cheers and applauds.}  
  
Yamcha: WHAT?! {starts hitting his chest, then falls on the floor. He says nothing.}  
  
Megaman: {running from the audience.} {mumbles.} Make way! {reaches Yamcha and puts his fists on his chest.} CLEAR! ZAP! {Yamcha raises up and falls again. Megaman puts his fists on his chest again.} CLEAR! ZAP! {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Don't go anywhere! We'll find out who the winner is, right after this!  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Gamer is on the stage, along with C.J. He's standing behind a small table of assorted objects.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner, C.J.! {audience cheers as he gives them a thumbs up.} And he gets to do a game with me and Spike. {to off stage.} Ready, Spike?  
  
Spike: {slowly walks out, wearing a clown costume. He has an unhappy look on his face. The audience roars with laugher.} You must really hate me.  
  
Gamer: This was a request sent via e-mail. She wanted us to reenact her favorite Whose Line moment. The game we're playing is called Helping Hands. Me and Spike are gonna act out a scene, but Spike can't use his hands. C.J. has to be his hands for him. {Spike stands in front of C.J. C.J. sticks his hands out and make them look like Spike's.} We also have to use the stuff on this table. And the scene is?  
  
Yamcha: {at the desk, reading a card.} Gamer is a excited birthday boy who is being entertained by Spike the Clown. {audience laugh as Spike groan.}  
  
Gamer: {quickly puts on a birthday hat and an apron that says, "Birthday Boy."} Let's get started. {turns to Spike.} {kid voice.} This is no fun! My daddy said you'd be a funny clown!  
  
Spike: {while C.J. is pointing a finger at Gamer.} Hey! {C.J. shakes moving the finger up and down as Spike speaks.} I didn't go through 3 years of Clown College to be rushed by a little runt like you. But since I got 15 minutes. {C.J. holds up 5 fingers.} That's right. 15! Five! {C.J. does it again.} Five! {again} Five! {again} {audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: Do a trick, now!  
  
Spike: Okay. {looks at C.J.'s sleeve.} I got something up my sleeve. {C.J. uses his right hand to pull out colored streamer from his left sleeve. He gets some of it out and starts tugging it.} Oops! It's stuck. {audience laughs as he pulls out the rest.}  
  
Gamer: {excited} Golly! That was great!  
  
Spike: Okay! {C.J. moves his hand around the table.} What have we here? {C.J. grabs a can of silly string.} Watch this! {C.J. sprays some string into the audience. They cheer and scream. C.J. then sprays Spike's face.} I like it too!  
  
Gamer: Ha ha ha! You're funny!  
  
Spike: {starts to speak but gets some string in his mouth. The audience laughs.} Excuse me. {C.J. puts the can down and Spike spits the wad of string in his hand. The audience groan in disgust. C.J. throws the wad away and wipes his hands on Spike's shirt.} Okay! What do we do now?  
  
Gamer: I want juggling!  
  
Spike: Okay! {C.J. moves his hand around the table.} {chuckle.} I can't find the juggling balls that are on the LEFT side! {audience laugh. C.J. gets 3 red juggling balls and starts throwing them in the air. He juggles them slowly.} Bum-bum-ba-da-ba-da-bum-bum-bum-bum! {audience start cheering and applauding. C.J. drops the balls after 6 seconds of juggling.} And that's all you get!  
  
Gamer: Gee! That was awesome!  
  
Spike: How bout' another trick? {C.J. grabs to large metal rings.} Don't blink! 1! {C.J. quickly hits the rings together and the connect to each other. The audience cheer and applaud.} Apparently, I only count to 1 on this trick.  
  
Gamer: Wow!  
  
Spike: Watch me pull them apart! {C.J. tries to pull them apart, but it doesn't work. He then throws it off stage.} Ta-da! {C.J. moves his hands around.} It's gone.  
  
Gamer: Can I have a balloon animal?  
  
Spike: One balloon animal, coming up! {C.J. looks for a balloon and finds one. It's a red long one and has been inflated already.} Thank God, it's pre-blown up. {C.J. starts twisting it around and makes a balled up mess that immediately returns to normal.} It's a. worm! {audience laughs. C.J. hands it to Gamer.} Here you go.  
  
Gamer: {takes the balloon.} Thanks a lot! How bout a hat trick?  
  
Spike: Let me get my hat. {C.J. feels around the table and grabs a hat. He pulls out of it a small toy rabbit.} Ta-da! {audience cheers and laughs.} Wanna see me pull a hat outta a rabbit? {C.J. acts like he's pulling something out of the rabbit's ear. He grabs the hat from the table and acts like he pulled it from the rabbit's ear.} Ta-da! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: That was a nice trick.  
  
Spike: {C.J. grabs a can of peanuts.} Would you like some peanuts?  
  
Gamer: Sure! {Gamer takes the can, points it at Spike and opens the top. Nothing comes out.} What the? {audience laughs.}  
  
Spike: Happens all the time to me. {C.J. puts his finger inside the can and 3 rubber snakes pop out.} There it is!  
  
Gamer: {pretends to cry.} WAAAAAH! WAAAAAH!  
  
Spike: {C.J. pats Gamer's back.} Don't cry little guy. I know what you'd want. {C.J. grabs a custard pie.} A nice big pie. {audience laugh. C.J. holds out the pie.}  
  
Gamer: Gee, thanks! {Gamer pushes the pie out of C.J.'s hands and into Spike's face. It explodes with custard and crust and covers his face. The audience roars with laughter and applauds. Spike moved slightly, so C.J. got some custard on his face. Gamer starts laughing loudly. The pie sticks to Spike face.} I've always wanted to do that! Oh.man!  
  
C.J.: {gets away from Spike and wipes the cream off his face.} You know what. {grabs a hidden pie from under the table.} So do I! {hits Gamer in the face with the pie. It completely covers his face. The audience roars with laughter and cheers. Yamcha and Megaman are doubled over with laughter. Spike is laughing will wiping off his pie. C.J. raises his arms in victory.} YEAH! YEAH!! LET IT BE KNOWN!!! I HIT A WRITER WITH A PIE!!! I WAS WAITING ALL NIGHT TO DO THAT!!!  
  
Gamer: {takes the pan off his face and is laughing.} That's all for tonight's show! See ya later! {audience is cheering and applauding. Gamer the crème off his lips.} It's tastes delicious!  
  
}}scene fades out.{{  
  
(Got a favorite character you want to see on the show? Either as a performer, sung to, or used in a scene, you can tell me by reviewing or e- mailing me at gamerctm@yahoo.com . You can also tell me so of your ideas for the show. What scenes you want to see pulled out of the hat, what lines to use during Whose Line, and ideas for Party Quirks, Let's Make a Date, or Weird Newscasters. Any game you have an idea for, I will read and maybe even use. Until next time!) 


	5. Episode 5

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} He'll make you laugh! Christopher Julius! {cut to Naru} She'll make you smile! Naru Narusegawa! (from Love Hina) {cut to Goku} He'll amaze you! Goku! {from DBZ.} And. {cut to Inuyasha} He'll make you wish you were somewhere else! Inuyasha! (needless to say, from Inuyasha.) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} I'm Gamer! Your host! Let's get things started! {goes to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! That's right, like which Olson Twin you sleep with! {audience laughs.} Doesn't mean a thing! Let's go to our first game, Film, TV, and Theatre Styles! This is for C.J., Naru, and Inuyasha! {audience cheers as they walk to the stage.} What I need from the audience are some film, TV, and theatre styles.  
  
Audience Member: Porno! {audience laugh loudly.}  
  
Gamer: Okay. Since you're so excited about it!  
  
Different Member: Full House!  
  
Gamer: Porno and Full House don't mix too well, but we'll do it! {audience starts shouting suggestions.} Matrix. Animal Show. Chick Flick. Infomercial.  
  
Audience Member: River Dance!  
  
Gamer: River Dance! Okay! That's enough. You guys are gonna act out a scene, when I buzz ya, you gotta do it as a different style. The scene is {reads a card.} C.J. is the president and Naru is his.  
  
C.J.: Intern?  
  
Gamer: First Lady.  
  
C.J.: {disappointed.} Oh.  
  
Gamer: Who asleep in the White House, when hired assassin, Inuyasha, breaks in to kill him. So whenever you're ready, go! {Inuyasha walks off stage. C.J. and Naru pretends to sleep.}  
  
Naru: {wakes up suddenly.} Honey! {elbows C.J. in the ribs.}  
  
C.J.: Oof!!! {wakes up.}  
  
Naru: {shouting.} YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT THAT INTERN AGAIN!!!  
  
C.J.: {Bill Clinton's voice.} No I wasn't honey.uh.Whatever your name is! {audience laugh.}  
  
Inuyasha: {imitates glass breaking, then jumps on stage.} Don't anybody move!  
  
C.J.: Thank God! An assassin! {Naru looks at him.} I mean, Oh no! An assassin! {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: Where's secret service?  
  
Inuyasha: They're with you're intern, if you know what I mean. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I know! {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Chick Flick! {Inuyasha and C.J. groan. The audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: {pretends to pull out a gun.} {fake crying.} Do-Don't make me hurt you.  
  
Inuyasha: {fake crying.} I'm so sorry. I love you two! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I'm pregnant, and {sobs} only one of you can be the father. {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} {normal voice.} I assume that happens during a chick flick.  
  
Gamer: Animal Show!  
  
Inuyasha: {he and Naru walk away from C.J.} {Steve Irwin voice.} Watch closely as the male president give birth to it's young.  
  
C.J.: {gets on his hands and knees and makes strange animal sounds.} Grrr. Krup! Gurp! Ber! ACH! {audience roar with laughter.}  
  
Naru: Don't get to close to it!  
  
Inuyasha: Shame I must kill 'er! {starts chasing C.J. around the stage.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Infomercial!  
  
{C.J. gets up and Inuyasha looks at the camera.}  
  
Inuyasha: {plain and mechanically.} I was a simple assassin before "Assassin Class." But thanks to "Assassin Class" I am not a simple assassin anymore.  
  
C.J.: {loud, salesman voice.} That's right! In only 300 easy and overpriced lessons, you can be an assassin! {audience laughs.} If you order right now, it will still take 9-30 mouths to arrive at your door! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: River Dance!  
  
{C.J., Naru and Inuyasha starts dancing in a River Dance style. Inuyasha pretends to hold a shotgun and points it at Naru and C.J. The audience starts cheering. Naru and C.J. dance away from Inuyasha. They then strike poses. C.J. gets on one knee and points his right arm in the air. Inuyasha does the same pose, but raises his left arm in the air.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Porno! {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: {to Inuyasha.} {seductive.} That's a pretty big gun you have. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {Bill Clinton Voice.} All this dancing' around has made my sweaty. {pretends to take of his clothes. Audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: {to Inuyasha.} You've been a bad assassin. {seductive and forceful.} Up against the wall! {audience laugh and cheer as Inuyasha assumes the position.}  
  
Inuyasha: I've been a baaaaaaaaaad boy.  
  
{Naru gets behind him and puts her hands on his chest. C.J. comes behind Naru and puts his hands on her waist.} {BUZZ} {the audience is laughing and cheering at the position the 3 are in.}  
  
C.J.: {to Gamer.} Just want you know, I can stand like this all night!  
  
Inuyasha: Me too. {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: {annoyed} Can we pick this up a little?  
  
Gamer: Matrix!  
  
Inuyasha: Prepare to die, Neo. {pretends to fire a gun at C.J. in slow motion.}  
  
{C.J. bends over backwards like they do in the movie. The audience cheers. Naru runs in slow motion to the desk pretends to wall run on it. Audience cheers and applaud.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Full house!  
  
Inuyasha: {Jesse's voice.} All this runnin' 'round is messin' up my hair. {audience laughs as he pretends to comb, and stray his hair continuously.}  
  
Naru: {gets on her knees.} {Michelle's voice.} {to Inuyasha} You're in trouble, mister! {audience laugh and applaud.}  
  
C.J.: {Joey's voice.} How 'bout some funny, goofy voices?! {Popeye's voice.} Ah-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga! {audience laugh.} {Elmer Fudd voice.} Be vewy vewy, qwiet! {Bill Clinton voice.} I did not have sexual relations with that woman. {audience laugh.} {Gamer's voice.} The points don't matter! {the audience laughs.} {BUZZ} {the performers return to their seats as the audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: Sorry guys, but I'm runnin' low on points, so 3 to 4 points each. {audience awes they 4 performers look down on the ground.} Oh, Naru? You can have a million! {audience cheer as Naru smiles.} Yeah! I got to do it, because if I don't, she'll beat me up! {audience laughs as Naru waves her fist.} Let's move on to a game called Infomercial! This is for Goku and Inuyasha. {audience cheers as they come down. Inuyasha pulls onto the stage a small table and Goku puts a small box of props behind it.} The way this game works, Goku and Inuyasha are TV salesmen trying to sell a miracle product. The twist is, they have to use as much as the props from the box during the commercial. What we need from the audience is problem you'd buy a miracle product to treat. {audience shout's out suggestions.} Bad breath! We wanna get rid of bad breath! So Goku and Inuyasha, the miracle product that gets rid of bad breath.  
  
Inuyasha: {shouting quickly.} It's 11'o clock at night! You got no job, no pants, and nothing better to do! It's time to shop. {slams his fist on the table.} shop. {does it again.} SHOP!!! {does it again.} {audience laughs and cheer.} We're selling you crap, you'll never use!  
  
Goku: Yeah! What he said!  
  
Inuyasha: {disgusted} Ohhh! Maybe they'll use this one! You're breath sticks! In fact, I have to do this. {pretends to pass gas.} vrrrrrt! Just to cover the smell! {audience laughs.}  
  
Goku: Hey! It worked! {audience laughs and clap.} But if you order our from our show, you'll get slightly better smelling breath in only 400 easy and painful steps! {audience laughs. Inuyasha puts on the table a colorful toy spike ball.} Hey, Inuyasha! What's that?  
  
Inuyasha: Why, this is the germ that causes bad breath. And it lives right on your tongue.  
  
Goku: Really? Something that big fits in your mouth?  
  
Inuyasha: Actually this has been enlarged over one million times its actually size!  
  
Goku: Wow! That's. {counting his fingers.} One.two.three. really small! {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: {presses the button on the ball. The ball starts vibrating.} You see when it starts to shake, that causes a bad smell.  
  
Goku: {disgusted} OH! I can smell it already! {holds his nose.} Turn it off! Turn it off! {audience laughs.} {Inuyasha turns the ball off.} {relieved} phew. {puts the ball on the ground. It starts vibrating again.} AHHHHHHHH!!!!! {audience laughs and applaud. Goku turns off the ball.}  
  
Inuyasha: Now that we know what causes bad breath, it's time to cure it!  
  
Goku: {pulls out of the box a small red balloon.} You know Inuyasha. Sometimes the easiest way to get rid of bad breath is to simply blow it away.  
  
Inuyasha: Really? With a simple balloon?  
  
Goku: Actually, this is our new and fun, Bad Breathy Get-a-way-a-er! {audience laughs.} All you got to do is, {starts blowing up the balloon, after a few seconds it pops loudly.} WHOA! {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: This doesn't work if your breath is really, REALLY, bad. So we got to use. {pulls out from the box a oversized, novelty pair of plastic tweezers. Audience laughs.} the Bad Breathy Pull-a-way-er!  
  
Goku: How does it work?  
  
Inuyasha: Just open you mouth and stick out your tongue. {Goku does so. Inuyasha starts using the tweezers on his tongue. The audience starts laughing.} All we gotta do is pull off those bad breath causing germs one- by-one. {stops.} Of course. Because of the time and effort needed, it's hard to stand the breath without passing out. {starts to wobble.} {audience laughs} Whoa. {he puts down the tweezers and pulls out of the box a bottle of dish soap with a white label.} Hey, Goku. What's this?  
  
Goku: Why, that looks like a bottle of dish soap with the white paint over the label to keep us from getting sued! {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: This is our patented, Bad Breathy Wash -a-way-er! {audience laughs.} Open your mouth!  
  
Goku: I really wish I used mouth wash this morning! {he opens his mouth and Inuyasha squirts some dish soap in his mouth. The audience laugh and cheers as Goku starts gargling and makes a disgusted face. He then spits the soap on the floor. The audience laugh and cheer. Gamer is also laughing.} I hope there's a glass of water in that box.  
  
Inuyasha: {sniffs.} Lemony fresh!  
  
Goku: My breath?  
  
Inuyasha: No! The carpet! {audience laughs.} {pulls out a small, paper fan.} Well, if we can't get rid of the smell, there's one other thing to do!  
  
Goku: What is it?  
  
Inuyasha: We gotta fan it into your stomach and let your digestion system get rid of it!  
  
Goku: I read Reader's Digest, too! {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: Not DI-gest! Dig-estion! That turns food into poo! {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Goku: Hey! That rhymes! Food! Poo! Food! Poo! Food! Pood! {audience laughs}  
  
Inuyasha: Just shut your mouth and open it! {Goku does so. Inuyasha waves the fan in front of his mouth. The audience laughs.} Again. this is very time consuming! {stops.} I said CONSUMING, not COSTUMER!  
  
Goku: Answered my question! {audience laughs.} {goes into the box and pulls out two clear cups connected by a rubber tube.} Uh-oh! {audience laughs.} Try for some serious work!  
  
Inuyasha: That is our patented. Bad Breathy Suck-y-a-way-er! {audience laugh.} All you need is a close friend, a REALLY close friend! {audience laugh.} {Goku puts one cup to his mouth.} And that friend will suck your bad breath away. {looks at the other cup.} {groan.} {puts the other cup to his mouth and starts to suck up air. The audience laughs and cheers. After a few seconds.} {BUZZ!} {the audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: Okay! That was great! Thank you! {Goku and Inuyasha walk back to their seats.} Okay, so a thousand points to Inuyasha!  
  
Goku: What about me?  
  
Gamer: We gotta use yours to replace the carpet! {audience laugh. There is a puddle of soap and bubbles in the middle of the stage.} The next time you're on my show, I'm gonna make sure they have a spittoon ready for you! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game, called Whose Line! This is for Naru and C.J. {they walk on stage.} Yeah, believe or not, we have a game called Whose Line on "Whose Line."  
  
C.J.: Man, it boggles the mind!  
  
Gamer: Alright, the way this game works, these two are gonna act out a scene, and during the scene, they have to use these lines! {he's holding in 4 pieces of paper in his hand. Naru and C.J. go up and take them. Gamer reads a card.} You're gonna be acting out a scene from Titanic. Jack, who is C.J., and Rose, who is Naru, meet each other on the deck. Take it away!  
  
C.J.: Rose! I finally found you!  
  
Naru: Jack. I need you to know something! Something important! From the moment I met you, I needed to tell you these words.  
  
C.J.: I have something top tell you too! {pause.} Uhhh. {audience laughs.} Why don't you go first! {under his breath.} She's suppose to go first.  
  
Naru: Jack! {reads a slip of paper.} "Hug me! Stroke me! Call me Slappy!" {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
C.J.: {hugs Naru.} You know something, Slappy? {audience laugh and applaud. He breaks away.} You husband! Or Fiancé! {audience laughs.} I don't know which! But he's nothing but rich snob. Did you hear him in the banquet hall?  
  
Naru: No, what did he say?  
  
C.J.: I saw him there, talking to the other passengers saying, {reads a paper.} "Did you see the jugs on that girl?" {audience laughs and applaud as Naru acts shocked.}  
  
Naru: He's looking at another woman?  
  
C.J.: Just her jugs. {audience laughs. C.J. then starts to walk away.} Slappy, he's not what you. {he steps on the soap puddle and slips.} WHOA! {the audience and Gamer start laughing loudly. Goku is also laughing. C.J. stands up straight.} Maybe I should've worn the my cleat boots instead!  
  
Naru: The. {laughs.} deck must be wet!  
  
C.J.: Either that, or some brain-dead monkey was gargling dish soap! {audience laughs even more. Gamer is cracking up.}  
  
Naru: So. he's seeing another woman. Then I can tell you what I wanted to tell you ever since I saw you.  
  
C.J.: Didn't you already tell me that? {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: There was two things. I never said this to anyone, not even my Fiancé. Jack, {reads a paper.} "What's with the beaver costume?" {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: In case we sink, I can swim away! But that probably won't work! {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: Jack. the view is so beautiful.  
  
C.J.: It is, Slappy. {takes a step towards her. He looks at the puddle and sidesteps away from it.} I want the world to know my feelings! I will tell what I feel! {faces and takes a step towards the audience. He stands near the edge of the stage and reads a paper.} "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!" {audience roars with laughter. Naru stands behind C.J.} OW! {looks at Naru.} Get off my tail! {BUZZ} {audience applauds.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Don't go anywhere! We'll be right back with more "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Stay right there! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter! Hey, I wanna give a special shout out to RavenofDarkfire, Anxs, dragoon, Pizza Cat Div, and jnjnvlz for their comments and suggestions for the show! {audience applauds.} And if their reading, you can stop looking over your shoulders once every minute! C.J. won't be after you, anymore! {audience laughs.} And I took the baseball bat away from him!  
  
C.J.: Can I please have it back! I got relatives coming over!  
  
Gamer: We're only kidding of course! Let's move on to a game called Party Quirks! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as all the performers walk on stage.} Naru! You are gonna throw a party and C.J., Goku, and Inuyasha are your guests. However, they all have strange quirks and identities. Which are on these cards. {C.J., Goku, and Inuyasha walk up to Gamer and he hands them all cards. They walk to the right, off camera.} And you have to figure out what and who they are. They come in one at a time when I ring the doorbell. So whenever your ready, start the party!  
  
Naru: {pretending to talk on the phone.} Yeah, I met these great guys over the internet. One of their emails is mentallychalledgedandbiologiclyuseless@yahoo.com {audience laughs.} {DING- DONG!} {DING-DONG!} Gotta go! {runs to the right of the stage and stands in front of Inuyasha. She pretends to open a door.} Hi! Come in!  
  
Inuyasha: (Get magnetically attracted to everyone) Hey! How you. {suddenly gets "stuck" to Naru. The audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: Oh.my. {starts to walk away and Inuyasha still sticks to her.} You look like run. {they walk near Gamer. Inuyasha suddenly sticks to Gamer. Audience laughs.} Have fun with him! {DING DONG} Let me get that! {walks to Goku and pretends to open a door.} Hi!  
  
Goku: (Arnold Schwarzenegger going from Mr. Universe, to Terminator, to Governor.) {Arnold's voice.} Ah. Hello. Thank you for inviting me. {pretends to oil himself. Audience is cheering. He then strikes a pose.}  
  
Naru: Uh. Nice abs.  
  
Goku: I take good care of my bod-de! {he strikes a different pose. Inuyasha then gets stuck to him. The audience laughs. Goku still strikes poses.} What is dis Gurly Man doing on me? {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: {DING-DONG} {DING-DONG} You two get acquainted. {lets C.J. in.} Hi!  
  
C.J.: {gets down on all fours, sniffing the floor.} (Naru's loyal, over protective Dog.) {He looks at Naru. He gets up and puts his arms on her shoulders, panting.}  
  
Naru: Um. Let's save that for later!  
  
Goku: {pretends to point a gun at Inuyasha.} You must be destroyed. I'll be bock! {audience cheers. Inuyasha holds his hand out and pretends to pull the gun away from Goku.}  
  
C.J.: {growling at Goku} Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. {he gets on all fours and runs to Goku leg and pretend to bite down on it.} Grrrrrrrrrr. {he bites on his pant leg and pulls his back, snarling and growling will shaking his head. The audience is laughing out loud.}  
  
{Inuyasha gets stuck to Goku again.}  
  
Goku: {points a gun at C.J.} Get back.  
  
C.J.: YIPE! YIPE! YIPE! {runs and hides behind Naru. He growls at them, again.}  
  
Goku: {raises his hand.} I promise to up hold the duties of whatever the hell I am. {audience laughs.}  
  
Naru: I'm very glad to have you here Governor Schwarzenegger. {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Yes! {audience cheer and applaud. Goku walks to his seat.} It says he turning from Mr. Universe to Terminator to Governor.  
  
Naru: That's as close as I can get. {Inuyasha gets stuck to her.} And you.  
  
C.J.: {growls at Inuyasha and starts chasing him around the stage. Inuyasha runs around, the audience is laughs. He then gets stuck to Naru again. C.J. bites his pant leg and growls and tugs.} Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  
  
Naru: You are a very sticky man.  
  
Gamer: No! He's something else.  
  
Naru: He's.  
  
Gamer: What do they call those things that pulls in metal.  
  
Naru: A magnet?  
  
Gamer: Close enough! {BUZZ} He's magnetically charged to everyone! {Inuyasha walks back to his seat.}  
  
Naru: {looking at C.J.} {sweet voice.} Come here boy! {audience laugh and cheer. C.J. runs over to Naru. She starts petting the top of his head and back.} Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? {looks at the floor.} {stern.} Look what you did to the floor! {audience and Gamer laughs. C.J. tries to run away. She catches him by the collar and puts his head down to the floor.} Look at it! {pointing to C.J.} Bad boy! {The audience and performers laugh loudly.} Bad boy!  
  
C.J.: {breaks free and runs to Gamer's desk. He gets up on the desk and starts growling at Gamer.} Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. {Gamer reaches for the buzzer.} Grrrrrrrrrr. {Naru grabs C.J. by the collar and takes him off the table.}  
  
Naru: Come on boy! Don't worry. I'm getting him neutered! {audience laughs as C.J. yipes.}  
  
Gamer: Yuk! Slobber all over my desk. So tell me, Naru. Who is he?  
  
Naru: He is my sweet, lovable, and stupid dog!  
  
Gamer: Yes! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as they return to their seats.}  
  
C.J.: I was protective, too.  
  
Gamer: Okay! 1000 points to Naru for giving me the image of her forcing C.J. to the ground saying "Bad Boy!" {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {to Inuyasha.} I think I got yours by mistake! {audience laughs.} You wanna trade and try that game again?  
  
Naru: Just what I need. {points to C.J.} This guy getting stuck to me.  
  
C.J.: What happened to "Bad Boy?" "Bad Boy?" {audience laugh.}  
  
Gamer: Let's go to a game called Greatest Hits! This is for C.J., Goku, and Inuyasha! {audience cheers as they walk on stage.} Goku and Inuyasha are trying to sell a CD constellation, and C.J.'s gonna sing the songs. Inuyasha and Goku need to name the song title and style for him to sing. What I need from the audience is a job you wouldn't normally sing about. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Garbage man! So whenever you're ready, Songs of the Garbage Man!  
  
Goku: Hi! We'll be right back with our feature movie, "Dippy, the Impotent Badger." In just a minute. {audience laugh and cheer. Gamer is laughing, too.}  
  
Inuyasha: You know, Goku. For as long as their been garbage men, there has been people singing about them behind their backs.  
  
Goku: That's right. We collected over 5000 songs on one CD. {audience laughs.} These are really short songs.  
  
Inuyasha: As you know, Goku. I'm a big fan of Bluegrass,  
  
Goku: That a disease? {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: No. It's a music style. One of my favorite! And there is no song better than that great bluegrass hit. "Hauling Trash for a Livin'!" {audience laughs as Bluegrass music starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: YEE-HAW! {audience is clapping with rhythm.} Let me tell you somethin'! I have all the luck! All I do all day is haul a big ass truck! I get garbage to the dump so it's ridden'! How I love Hauling Trash for a Livin'! Hauling Trash for a Livin'! It's what I do best! Don't leave it up to the rest! I ain't fibbin'! I'm Hauling Trash for a Livin'! {Audience cheers as the song ends.}  
  
Inuyasha: All I can say is, YEE-HAW!  
  
Goku: Still think it's a disease. {audience laughs.} You know, Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha: What Goku?  
  
Goku: I was at Germany for a while, and they had a lots of bars. So I heard a far share of German Drinking Songs! In fact, one of my favorite is on this CD. That number 1 German Drinking Song, simply titled. "What's That Smell?" {audience laughs.} {German Polka Music starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: {German Accent} Ah! Rin! Auldwin! Untal Conplatal Uh Oon! People run from me! It's not what you think! It's because I always stink! {audience laughs.} Old food or poo? It's hard to tell. Ooh! What's dat smell?! {audience laughs as he shakes his hands around like he's holding a mug.} Da garbage man tells no lies. My truck is uh-tracting flies! You can smell it a mile away! Oom badda oom badda oomp! {audience laughs.} Da crap has hit da fan! I don't speak Ger-man! {audience laugh and cheer. Song ends.}  
  
Goku: All I can say is, "Ya! Dat is gou! {audience laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: You're kidding yourself! You can have your German Drunks. I like Metal Punks! {audience laughs.} During the great Garbage Strike that happened so time I don't know about, many Heavy Metal bands made some songs about it.  
  
Goku: Heavy Metal Bands? That can't be comfortable! {audience and Gamer laughs.}  
  
Inuyasha: {taps Goku's head.} Sleep. {Goku pretends to fall asleep.} And my favorite Heavy Metal hit. "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-RIKE!!!" {audience laughs. Heavy Metal Music starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: {hand-banging and shouting.} YEAH!!! STRIKE!!! GARBAGE!!! {pretends to play electric guitar. Audience cheers.} GARBAGE SUCKS!!! THAT'S WHY I DON'T CLEAN IT!!! I WON'T TOUCH WHAT YOU THROW OUT!!! LET IT STAND! LET IT LAST! LINE UP AND KISS MY ASS!!! {Audience laughs.} {shouts} YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WON'T TOUCH YOUR BOXES!!! WONT'T TOUCH YOUR CANS!!! WON'T TOUCH YOUR STINKIN' KITTY LITTER! DOG DOO! OR DIAPERS!!! STRIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! STRIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- RIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. {audience laugh and cheers} EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! {takes a breath.} STRIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! {pretends to hit his guitar on the floor. He then hits it on the wall and Moshpits into the audience. Audience is cheering.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: We'll find out who the winner is! Don't go away!!!  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Inuyasha is at the desk. Naru is sitting on a stool on stage with C.J., Gamer and Goku behind her.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway?" Tonight's winner. Naru Narusegawa! {audience cheers as she smiles.} So me, Goku, and the iron lung of music, C.J. have to play Three Headed Broadway Star! And we get to sing to Naru! We each gotta sing one word at a time. So what In need from the audience, complete this sentence. "I love you for your. what?" {audience shouts out suggestions.} Mole! {audience laughs.} So when the music starts, "I love you for your mole!" {romantic piano music starts playing. C.J., Gamer and Goku get together to look like they have three heads.}  
  
C.J.: I.  
  
Gamer: Love.  
  
Goku: You.  
  
C.J.: For.  
  
Gamer: Your.  
  
Goku: Mole!  
  
C.J.: Your.  
  
Gamer: Furry.  
  
Goku: Little.  
  
C.J.: Mole.  
  
Gamer: On.  
  
Goku: Your.  
  
C.J.: Face! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: I.  
  
Goku: Used.  
  
C.J.: To  
  
Gamer: Have.  
  
Goku: A.  
  
C.J.: Mole.  
  
Gamer: On.  
  
Goku: My.  
  
C.J.: Face!  
  
Gamer: But.  
  
Goku: Now.  
  
C.J.: It's  
  
Gamer: On.  
  
Goku: My.  
  
C.J.: Butt! {Naru and the audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Gamer: Your.  
  
Goku: Mole.  
  
C.J.: Speaks.  
  
Gamer: To.  
  
Goku: .. {pause.} Me! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Your.  
  
Gamer: Mole.  
  
Goku: Is.  
  
C.J.: So.  
  
Gamer: Bee-yu-te-ful!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
Goku: I.  
  
C.J.: Want.  
  
Gamer: To.  
  
Goku: Marry.  
  
C.J.: Your.  
  
Gamer: Mole! {audience and Naru laughs.}  
  
Goku: But.  
  
C.J.: It's.  
  
Gamer: Connected.  
  
Goku: To.  
  
C.J.: Your.  
  
Gamer: Face! {audience laughs.}  
  
Goku: I love. {audience laughs as C.J. and Gamer looks at him. C.J. holds up his index finger and mouths the word "one."} I! {shakes his head.}  
  
C.J.: Love.  
  
Gamer: Your.  
  
Goku: Mole.  
  
C.J.: Because.  
  
Gamer: It's.  
  
Goku: Very.  
  
C.J. Very.  
  
Gamer: Big! {audience and Naru roar with laughter.}  
  
Goku: I love your mo. {C.J. and Gamer looks at him.} Oh, darn!!! {audience and the performers laugh.}  
  
C.J.: Oops!  
  
Gamer: That's.  
  
Goku: More.  
  
C.J.: Than.  
  
Gamer: One.  
  
All: {harmonizing.} Wooooooooooorrrrrddd!!! {audience laughs and applaud.}  
  
C.J.: {to Goku} One word at a time!  
  
Gamer: That's all for "Whose Line is it Anyway?" See ya later!  
  
{scene fades out.} 


	6. Episode 6

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} {imitating Elvis.}Don't be cruel! Christopher Julius! {cut to Keitarou} Ain't nothing but a hound dog! Keitarou Urashima! (from Love Hina) {cut to Miroku} All shook up! Miroku! (from Inuyasha) And. {cut to Vash} All I want is a peanut butter sandwich! Vash The Stampede! (from Trigun) {cut to Gamer, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host Gamer! Time for some fun! {walks to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway? The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are like what you look like in a chat room! {audience laughs.} Doesn't mean a thing. Well, tonight's show is the very first of the New Year!  
  
C.J.: {unenthusiastic} Yay. Oh yay. Whoopee. Hooray. La-Di-freaking- da! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: And it will be also be C.J.'s last! {audience laugh.}  
  
C.J.: Hey man! You know I kid. Right?  
  
Gamer: Too late! You're going to Fox!  
  
C.J.: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! {audience laughs.} I'm sorry!  
  
Gamer: Okay, you can stay!  
  
C.J.: Better let me stay!  
  
Gamer: Let go to our first game! Superheroes! This is for Vash, Keitarou, Miroku, and the Caped Superman wannabe, C.J.! {audience laugh as they walk on stage.} That's right C.J.! I'm gonna poke fun at your cape tonight!  
  
C.J.: {unenthusiastic} Yay.  
  
Gamer: So Keitarou will be the first superhero. And when the next guy comes up, you give him a name and so on. What I need from the audience is a strange superhero name. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Super Michael Jackson!! {audience laughs.} And what is the world crisis?  
  
Audience Member: Blue capes! {audience laugh and applaud. C.J. shakes his head.}  
  
C.J.: This is gonna be a long night.  
  
Gamer: {to Keitarou.} Help us, Super Michael Jackson! Blue Capes are threatening us! {audience laughs.}  
  
Keitarou: Yes, they are. {in a high, Michael Jackson voice.} {he looks down.} I'll be right back, Billy. Don't go nowhere. {audience laughs.} I gotta check the world crisis monitor. {he starts to moon walk.} WOOOOOOOOO!!!! {audience laugh and applaud. He stops.} Oh-no, Bubbles! There are blue capes everywhere! This isn't it good, its. {he tries to do the splits.} BAD! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {runs in} {screaming in agony.} THEY GOT ME!!! THEY GOT ME!!! {audience roar with laughter and applaud. Keitarou acts frightened at the sight.}  
  
Keitarou: We'll get that fixed. {thinks.} Soap Opera Kid! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {in a dramatic voice.} This blasted, inferno cape! It's the reason me and my lover parted ways! She left me for my twin sister, who turned out to be my identical cousin who's really my uncle in drag! {audience laughs.}  
  
Miroku: {runs in} Sorry I'm la.{looks at C.J.'s cape.} OH MY GOD!!!!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {gets close to Miroku.} Thank God you're here. The Happy Flasher. {audience laughs.}  
  
Miroku: {pretends to flash the crowd. They cheer and whistle.} What's the trouble? {he flashes Keitarou.}  
  
Keitarou: Ooh. can you do that again? {audience laugh as Miroku flashes him again.}  
  
C.J.: {angry voice.} That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! {calm voice.} I'm pregnant. {audience laughs.}  
  
Vash: {runs in.} I'm here! {looks at C.J.'s cape and screams like a girl. Audience laughs.} It's blue!!!  
  
Miroku: I'm happy to see you! {flashes Vash.} Rubber Man! {audience laugh.}  
  
Vash: {bounces in.} Whoa! {he bounces off the wall, off of C.J., and off the audience.}  
  
C.J.: You wee the one in the photo! {he chases after Miroku as the audience laughs. He stops him and tries to punch him, but his fist off.}  
  
Keitarou: What do we do about the capes?  
  
Vash: Fear not! In about 100 years, they'll be fashionable again. I must leave! {he bounces off of C.J. and off stage.}  
  
Miroku: Oh! I gotta go! I feel a draft! {audience laugh as he walks out.}  
  
C.J.: I must depart to. {he slowly walks out the door, turns and looks at Keitarou.} Thanks for everything. {audience laughs.}  
  
Keitarou: Get out of here! {he turns to the audience.} Another crisis averted. I gotta go to court. {he moon walks off stage. The audience cheers.} {BUZZ}  
  
{audience applauds as the performers walk back on stage.}  
  
Gamer: I wonder what light the commissioner uses to call the Flasher? {audience laughs. Miroku pretends to flash them again.} You know, C.J. was really a good sport during the whole act. 10,000 points for him. {audience cheers as C.J. smiles and nods.} But I gotta take away a million points for the cape. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Dude, being one of your fanfic originals is punishment enough! {audience laugh and Ohh.}  
  
Gamer: If that's how ya feel, ya gotta do a game called Song Styles! {audience cheers as C.J. walks down on stage and Gamer goes into the audience. He stops next to a little girl.} Hi. What's you name?  
  
Girl: Tiff.  
  
Gamer: What show are you from?  
  
Tiff: Kirby: Right Back at Ya.  
  
Gamer: That's the ONLY reason I wake on at 9:00! C'mon down! {he and she walk down on stage. He returns to his desk, she shakes C.J.'s hand and sits in the stool he set.} So C.J. that's Tiff, from Kirby, and you're gonna sing a song for her based on he name and show. And the style is. {reads a card. He laughs.} You gotta sing to her like a munchkin! {audience and Tiff laughs.} So when the music starts, take it away!  
  
{Happy, munchkin music starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: {gets on his knees.} {Munchkin voice.} She has come from far away! {audience laugh and cheer.} To save us from the wicked king of the east. She comes with a pink puffball, who sucks everything in sight! Hello! {he bounces around Tiff speaking in different munchkin voices.} Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! {she starts laughing.} Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. {singing} Tiffy! Oh Tiffy! Little blond girl named Tiffy! With her help, we can save Dreamland! In a jiffy! Oh, Tiffy! You never let me give up! When I fall and cry you always say, "Suck it up!" {audience laughs. So does Tiff.} {Good Witch Glenda's voice.} Oh, Dear Tiff. You have killed the wicked king. Brought hope to the good cappies of Cappytown. {Scarecrow's voice.} You gave me brains! {Tin man's voice} You gave me a heart! {Lion's voice.} You gave me C-courage! Courage! {she starts laughing at all the voices.} {Wicked witch of the west's voice.} I'll get you Tiff! You, and you're little puffball! And you're brother! And you're parents. And those two little floating things that hover around you! {audience cheers.} And that bastard bird!!! {audience laugh and applaud.} {munchkin voice.} {singing.}Tiffy! Oh Tiffy! She's the smartest gal in town! And she's enjoying, laughing at this dumb clown. Tiffy! You can't seem, to stop laughing at me. I'm like a insane ape. At least she laughing at my jokes, rather than at my cape! {audience and she laugh louder and applaud. The song ends.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Okay! That was great! Give a big hand for Tiff! {Tiff walks back to her seat while still laughing. Gamer starts laughing.} She still can't stop! You know, it's hard to keep a straight face when 30 different voices come out of the same guy! {audience laugh.}  
  
C.J.: {back in his seat.} I like her. She didn't make any jokes about my cape!  
  
Gamer: Ya didn't give her a chance to! I'm sure she had somethin' to say about it.  
  
C.J.: {to the audience.} Will the gentlemen sitting next to her please stand up.  
  
{from the audience, Meta Knight stands up. The crowd cheers.}  
  
Gamer: What do ya know? There is another like cape wearer like you in the universe.  
  
C.J.: {stands up and looks toward Meta Knight.} Brother? {audience laughs.} Is that you?!?! BIG BRO!!! {audience cheers. Meta Knight chuckles.} Mama said she lost ya during the flood! I found ya's!!! I'm so happy! {laughs.} I'm so happy! Can't ya see the resemblance! {tugs on his cape.} {he sits down, then Meta Knight does.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! {shouts to Meta Knight.} 1000 points for you! {audience cheer.} Let's go on to a game! Two Line Vocabulary! This is for Keitarou, Miroku, and Vash! {audience cheers as they walk on stage.} Now the way this game works, these three will act out a scene, but Vash and Keitarou are only allowed to say two lines throughout the whole scene. Keitarou, your lines are, "I don't like the sound of that." And, "Where's the beer?" {audience laughs.} Vash, your lines are, "Should we attack?" and "I need a hug." {audience laugh even more.} The scene is, {reads a card.} Space Commander, Miroku, and his two soldiers, Vash and Keitarou, are marooned on an alien planet. So, whenever you're ready, take it away!  
  
Miroku: {holds his hand to his ear and make static sounds.} We can't transmit home, we're stuck here!  
  
Keitarou: I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: No, it isn't good.  
  
Vash: Should we attack?  
  
Miroku: There's nothing to attack! Our ship and all our weapons are destroyed.  
  
Keitarou: I don't like the sound of that. {panicked} WHERE'S THE BEER!?!?!"  
  
Miroku: Shhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Vash: I need a hug.  
  
Miroku: {looks at Keitarou} Take care of that.  
  
Keitarou: {shakes his head.} I don't like the sound of that. {audience laughs.}  
  
Miroku: Look we need to be quiet.  
  
Vash: Should we attack?  
  
Miroku: No, we should be quiet.  
  
Keitarou: {whisper} Where's the beer?  
  
Miroku: Look!!! {audience laughs.}  
  
Vash: {sadly} I need a hug.  
  
Miroku: Here. {hugs Vash. The audience cheer and whistle.} Happy?  
  
Keitarou: {chuckles} Where's the beer?  
  
Vash: {looks at Keitarou with a glare.} Should we attack? {audience laughs.}  
  
Keitarou: {scared} I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: Listen! There are probably Martians on this planet.  
  
Keitarou: I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: You shouldn't like the sound of that! There might force us to wear.blue capes! {audience laughs wildly.}  
  
Keitarou: I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT!!!  
  
Vash: I NEED A HUG!!!  
  
Miroku: Listen! We need to be. shhhhh. listen.  
  
Keitarou: {listens.} I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: It's not a good sound.  
  
Vash: Should we attack?  
  
Miroku: No. we should. RUN!!! {they start running in place.}  
  
Vash: {crying} I need a hug!  
  
Miroku: You gotta wait!  
  
Keitarou: Where's the beer?!?!  
  
Miroku: There is no. {points toward the crowd.} behind that rock!!! There's beer there! {they dive onto thew floor and the audience cheer and applaud.} We should be safe here.  
  
Keitarou: Where's the beer?  
  
Miroku: I lied.. Okay?  
  
Keitarou: {sternly} I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: At least we're safe.  
  
Vash: Should we attack?  
  
Miroku: You know what. we should attack! I won't be taken over by those freaks!  
  
Keitarou: I don't like the sound of that.  
  
Miroku: No! It's a good sound. {audience laughs.}  
  
Vash: I need a hug.  
  
Miroku: Win this battle, I'll give you a hug., okay? ATTACK! {there rise to their feet.} GO!  
  
{they don't move.}  
  
Vash: Should we attack? {audience laugh.}  
  
Miroku: YES!!! ATTACK!!!  
  
Vash: I need a hug.  
  
Miroku: Look you! {looks at Keitarou} Look! Beer!  
  
Keitarou: Where's the beer!?!?  
  
Miroku: The aliens got them! Go get em'!  
  
Keitarou: {shakes his head} I don't like the sound of that. {audience laughs.} {BUZZ} {audience applaud.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Don't go nowhere! Whose Line is it Anyway, will be right back!!! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is applauding.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway! The show we everything's made up and the points don't matter. You know, we had a contest on Whose Line a few days ago.  
  
C.J.: Really?  
  
Gamer: Yeah. The winner would get a dinner date with any anime character they wanted. The winner is Miss Kelly Reeves from Sandusky, Ohio! And she picked Inuyasha. {audience applauds.} Yeah! So congratulations! We're sending you a TV dinner with Inuyasha's picture on the back. {audience laughs.} So go to our next game, Hats! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. There a stools and boxes of hats there.} What happens is, these guys are gonna use these hats to make the world's worst dating service video. So whenever you're ready, go!  
  
Miroku: {wearing a chef hat.} {fake French accent.} Wanna see me make something rise? {audience laughs and cheer.} {BUZZ} {cut to C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {wearing a Buckingham Palace Guard hat.} {British accent} Don't laugh if it's fuzzy! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. Cut to Vash}  
  
Vash: {wearing a ninja mask.} Ninja faster than lightning, so don't get your hopes up. {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} {cut to Keitarou}  
  
Keitarou: {wearing a Cat in the Hat top hat.} I would have you on a boat! I would have you with a goat! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} I'd have you here. I'd have you there! {BUZZ} {cut to C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {wearing a army soldier helmet.} {in cadence} Come play on my obstacle course! {audience laugh and repeat the phrase.} I am hung like a horse!!! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer.} {cut to Miroku}  
  
Miroku: {wearing a Steve Irwin hat.} {imitating Steve Irwin} Oh Crikey! Who wants to go down unda!?!?! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ} {cut to Keitarou}  
  
Keitarou: {wearing a black bow tie and sunglasses.} Interested in "under cover" work? {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} {cut to Miroku}  
  
Miroku: {wearing a Gladiator helmet} Ever used a Trojan? {BUZZ} {audience laughs. Cut to Vash}  
  
Vash: {wearing a knight helmet.} Looking for a one "knight" stand? {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} {cut to C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {wearing a Red Wing's wing nut hat.} Ca.  
  
Gamer: YEAH!!! {whistles. Audience cheers.} (The Wings are his favorite hockey team.}  
  
C.J.: Care to ride my zambonie? {BUZZ} {Gamer and the audience laugh.} {cut to Keitarou.}  
  
Keitarou: {wearing a foam pink wig.} My turn-offs include war, guys in ugly blue capes. {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer.} {cut to C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {walks over to Keitarou, takes his glasses, and sits down in a stool.} Hi. I'm Keitarou! {gets on his knees.} I need LOVE!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} I got very low standards! I can't be as handsome as C.J., so what you see is what you get! {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience laugh and applaud as the performers clean up the stage and goes back to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: The tensions really get high on this show, huh?  
  
C.J.: {gives Keitarou his glasses back.} Dude. When I was wearin' those, the crowd looked 300 miles away! No wonder you're clumsy!  
  
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, Scene to Rap! This is for everybody! {audience applaud as they walk on stage.} What are performers are gonna do, they're gonna act out a scene and rap though out the whole scene. What I need from the audience is a reason you go to the hospital. And don't say blue capes! {audience shouts out suggestions.} Vasectomy! {audience laugh and cheer as the performers look with disbelief.}  
  
C.J.: Who said that?  
  
Gamer: Can't wait to see this. take it away guys! {upbeat rap music starts to play. C.J. and Keitarou get off stage.}  
  
Vash: {rapping} My girlfriend won't sleep with me, you see! Until I get a vasectomy! I need a doctor! I need him now! {to Miroku} Are you a doctor? Ka pow? {audience laughs.}  
  
Miroku: {rapping} Yes, I'm a doctor. Don't think I'm heinous. Get on the table. Time to cut open your penis! {audience roars with laughter.}  
  
Vash: WHAT!?  
  
Miroku: {rapping} Don't you know what a vasectomy is? It's so you can't have kids! Nurse, get me a scalpel, now that's a knife! Prepare for the worst pain of your life!  
  
Vash: AHH!  
  
Miroku: {rapping} Just kiddin' pal! I ain't gonna miss! Sit down and. {pretends to hold something.} Bite down on this! {audience laughs.}  
  
Vash: My wallet?  
  
{C.J. walks in.}  
  
C.J.: HEY! {rapping} You're that doc! That damn germ! When I was sleeping he took my sperm! {audience laughs.} Give it back now, you see. Oh yeah. How much for a lobotomy?  
  
Miroku: {rapping} Lobotomy, is that's what you need?  
  
C.J.: {rapping} Yeah that's the end. By the way. {points to his head.} I mean this head! {audience laugh and applaud.}  
  
{Keitarou walks in.}  
  
Keitarou: {rapping} {to C.J.} Some time ago, your sperm is gone! {points to Miroku} He didn't get rid of it, he sold it to my mom! You want it back?  
  
C.J.: Yes!  
  
Keitarou: {rapping} Well here it is, it is done. {looks at C.J.} Look at me! I'm your son! {audience laugh and cheer as C.J. looks surprised.}  
  
C.J.: J.J.Junior! {hugs Keitarou} {BUZZ} {song ends and the audience applauds.}  
  
Gamer: We'll be right back and find out who the winner is! Stay where you are! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. C.J., Gamer, Miroku, and Vash are on stage.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line! Tonight's winner, Keitarou! {audience cheers as Keitarou, at the desk, waves to the crowd.} So we're gonna be punished by doin' a game for you called World's Worst. We're gonna stand here on the world's worst step and come up with examples of the world's worst, what, Keitarou?  
  
Keitarou:: World's Worst award or person to accept an award.  
  
Gamer: Alright. So let's get goin'.  
  
{Vash walks down.}  
  
Vash: I'd like to accept the award for most tactless ma. {starts to pick his nose.} {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Miroku: {walks down. Pretends to hold an award in both hands.} I'd like to thank every person I've ever meant in the world. Kagome. Inuyasha. Sango. Gamer. C.J. My mom. {BUZZ} My dad. Uncle Bob. My sister. {audience starts to laugh.} {BUZZ} Aunt Sue. The guy I met at the gas station last year. Kelly. Juste. The guy on the cereal box. {BUZZ} {he finally stops in the audience cheers.}  
  
Gamer: {walks up and holds his hands to his ear.} It speaks to me! {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} World Domination. Hot hooker chicks? What? {BUZZ} {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {walks down.} We like to present the award for drunkest patron in a sleazy bar! We have a tie between Jimmy the bum and Gamer! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Miroku: {walks down.}{Mike Tyson voice.} I'm Mike Tyson and I'd like to accept this award for most contributive member of society! {BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter.} Hope he ain't watching!  
  
Vash: {walks down.} {pretends to hold an award. And sighs.} Even the award is better hung than me. {BUZZ} {audience laughs.} {fake sobs.}  
  
Miroku: {walks up.} {shouting angrily} WHOSE {bleep} DO I HAVE TO {bleep} TO GET AN AWARD HERE!!!!!!!!! {BUZZ} {the audience and other performers roar with laughter.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up.} If you only knew have much {bleep} I had to {bleep} to get this! {audience roars with laughter.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: {walks down.} And the winner for worst cape ever! Christopher Julius! {BUZZ} {audience laugh and cheer.} {he walks back but fall down. All the performers start to fall down too. The audience laughs louder.}  
  
C.J.: Walks up. {walks up.} Hi I'm Gamer and I. hold up award. {holds up pretend award.} would like to accept this award for over description. takes step back. {audience laughs as he does so.} Take another step back. {does so.} Takes another step back. {does so.} Falls down. WHOA!!! {falls down again. Everyone else does it too.} {BUZZ} {audience is roaring with laughter.}{BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Well that's our show! Thank you and join us again for Whose Line is it Anyway! I'm gonna kick C.J.'s ass! {he and C.J. fake fights} {audience applauds as the scene fades out.}  
  
For the next episode of Whose Line is it Anyway?: Anime Craze, we're gonna have an all Kirby show. Starring Kirby, Meta Knight, Knuckle Joe, and C.J. it will be displayed in the Kirby section of fanfiction.net. Don't miss it, and don't forget to review my fanfics! You can also IM me and give your thoughts and ideas personally (or as personally an IM can give.) Just look for Gamerctm. Or email me at gamerctm@yahoo.com . Seeya later! 


	7. Salute to Video Games!

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} 24/7 gamer! Christopher Julius! (from my SPC fics.} {cut to Android 17.} Game activist!! Android 17! (from DBZ) {cut to Kagome.} Video Wizard! Kagome Higurashi! (from Inuyasha) And... {cut to Crono} Video game character!!! Crono! (from the game, Chrono Trigger.) {cut to Gamer, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! Time for some fun! {walks down to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, like the crappy, Virtualboy! {audience laughs.} Doesn't matter. This is our special Salute to Video Games! {audience applauds and cheers.} This was actually inspired by my friend and fellow author, Requiem Darkness! Give it up for her! {audience cheers and applauds as the camera cut to Requiem Darkness, who's in the audience.} We even have a special guest performer, from the hit game, Chrono Trigger, Crono! {audience cheers.}  
  
Crono: It's good to be here, Gamer!  
  
C.J.: Hate to break it to ya pal, but if you end up on this show, your career is down the crapper, basically. {audience laughs}  
  
Gamer: Speaking of which, you're cleaning the toilets after the show, C.J. Hey! What do ya know? You're career started in a toilet, it's gonna end in one! {audience laughs.} Let's to our first game, Award Show! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. C.J. grabs a podium off stage and sets it on the stage.} What's gonna happen is the performers are gonna act out an award show, but not like those celebrity shows. No, this is the Awards for Gaming show! Kagome and 17 are the hosts and C.J. and Crono are the nominees. They will stand in the audience and wait and hope they win. So whenever you're ready, take it away! {C.J. and Chrono go into the audience. Kagome and 17 stand behind the podium.}  
  
Kagome: Welcome to the 500th weekly, Game Award Show!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} We have a great show for you tonight! Isn't that right 17?  
  
17: {looking up.} {mechanically.} Yes. We do have an excellent show for you tonight. "Wave to audience."  
  
Kagome: Uh... {whispering.} You don't need to read the actions, and try to sound more excited.  
  
17: {looks at her.} {still mechanic} What? {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: Are you still set on mechanical? {reaches behind his head.} Where is that switch? Got it!  
  
17: We gotta grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat show for you tonight!!! YEAH!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Kagome: A little lower maybe? {reaches behind his head again.}  
  
17: {speaks in Spanish. Audience is still laughing. Kagome goes behind his head one more time.} {normal.} Here are the nominees!  
  
Kagome: That's better.  
  
17: {cut to 2 random people in the audience. It's Link and Zelda . (from the Legend of Zelda series.) } Our first nominees are Dan and Pat Horke, for their number one book, "Tetris: The Alternate Kamasutra."{audience laughs, whistles and cheers.}  
  
Kagome: I though some of the positions in that book were impossible! You ever try "The L and T formation?" {audience cheer even more.}  
  
17: That's disturbing coming from a 15-year-old...  
  
Kagome: Our next nominee... {cuts to Vivi. (from FF9.} Mr. I Ron Butterfly. For converting the Space Invaders theme into a rock ballad. {audience laughs.}  
  
17: I heard it! It's like... {rock singer voice.} Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! Dun! {audience cheers.} It gets a lot quicker in the end! And a lot harder to hit. And now the last nominees... {cut to C.J. and Crono.} Frat brothers, Bobby and Jimmy Smithy, for their drinking game where anytime you look at Lara Croft's butt, you gotta drink a beer! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: Lot of men run out of beer after the first few minutes.  
  
17: Of course. And the winner of the award for "Person with Too Much Free Time" is...  
  
Kagome and 17: Bobby and Jimmy Smithy!!! {audience cheers and applauds.}  
  
{C.J. and Crono leap out of their seats.}  
  
C.J. and Crono: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! {they head butt each other.} WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {they start to walk down to the stage and shake hands with all the people they pass.}  
  
C.J.: Ahh... C'mon! {he hugs one of the audience members, Daisy (from the Mario games.) He breaks away, but Daisy hugs his arm.}  
  
Daisy: {laughing.} Don't go!  
  
C.J.: I gotta go, baby! {he follows Crono down to the podium.} WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Crono: Ah man! This is the greatest thing to ever happen to us since the Super Bowl Halftime show this year! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Yeah dude! I tell. If I knew drinking beer while watching Lara's booty would bring us here, we would've cashed in years ago!  
  
Crono: I wanna thank my girlfriend, Katie. WE DID IT, BABY!!! {audience cheers.} If she's watching... I think we should see other people... {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Dude...that's no cool... Can I have her bro.!?!?  
  
Crono: Yeah dude! {audience cheers as they head butt each other again.}  
  
C.J.: We also wanna thank the reason we're here at this show... beer!  
  
Crono: BEER! {audience cheers.} And ice!  
  
C.J.: Ice! Ice is the greatest invention ever!  
  
Crono: I don't know who made it. But he must be rich! D-dude! I got an idea!  
  
C.J.: What is it?  
  
Crono: We should make ice... but it's liquid ice. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Bro.... That is the greatest idea ever!!! {he punches him in the shoulder.}  
  
Crono: {hits him back.} Who you think you're hittin'?  
  
C.J.: {punches him back.} You... baby brother!  
  
{they start to fake fight each other. The audience is laughing and cheering. They fall to the ground and keep punching each other.} {BUZZ} {The audience cheers. They stop fighting and shake hands. They then walk back to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: Don't you wish all award shows could be like that? Speaking of which, it's been over a week since the Janet Jackson flash incident at the Super Bowl Halftime show. And at the Grammies this Sunday, Justin Timberlake, her singing partner during that act, said and I quote. "It wasn't intentional, it was regrettable, and I apologize if we offended you guys." I think I speak for every man in the world when I say... We forgive you, we know it was an accident, and we can only hope that it happens again! {men in the audience start to cheer.} Let's go to our next game, Song Styles! This is for C.J.! {audience cheers as C.J. walks on stage and sets a stool there.} Of course, this is a Video Game style show, so the person you'll be singing to will be the one...the only... Rayman!!! {audience cheer and applaud as Rayman walks over to the stool from the behind the studio. He waves to his fans, shakes C.J.'s hand and sits down.} Something wrong, C.J.?  
  
C.J.: I thought you said "Rain-man!" {audience laughs.} 'Bout to say, Rain- man doesn't have a video game!  
  
17: {imitating Rain Man} Big hoodlums! Big hoodlums with big guns! {audience laughs.} Big guns!  
  
Gamer: This is another suggestion from Requiem Darkness!  
  
Rayman: Don't remind me... I though she liked me enough not to make me go though with this!  
  
Gamer: I'd suggest that you should bite your arms will he sings, but someone beat ya to it! {audience laughs.} Just kiddin'... All right C.J., the style you're singing in is NickelBack! {audience cheers.} So let's get started! {Hero (without the vocals) starts playing.}  
  
C.J.: {singing.} He has no arms, but it's not a problem! He has no legs, but it's not a problem! Hoodlums better... watch out cause he'll kick their asses!!! And they say, that Rayman will save us! But he can't even grow arms! {audience laughs and cheer.} He's to the rescue, when Hoodlum's mean us harm! {pause.} He can fly in the air. When his head is in helicopter mode! Hoodlums try to get him, when they lock and load! But with his fists of fury! And limb less body, he saves the day! When he comes into town, Hoodlums better run the other way! And they say that Rayman will save us! He's the limb less wonder we adore! I don't know much about your game. I'm still stuck on level 4! {audience laughs.} {during the instrumental, C.J. pretends to play a guitar. The audience cheers.} You didn't wanna be sung to. I don't know what to tell you. At least you don't have to sing, when a big, fat jerk with a buzzer tells you to! {audience laugh and cheers.} And they save that Rayman will save us! When evil is about to strike and occur! Can you please save me from the jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a...  
  
Rayman: Buzzer!  
  
C.J.: Jerk with a...  
  
Rayman: Buzzer!  
  
C.J.: Jerk with a BUZZER!!!  
  
Rayman: Yeah! {singing.} The jerk with a...  
  
C.J.: Buzzer!  
  
Rayman: Jerk with a...  
  
C.J.: Buzzer!  
  
Rayman: Jerk with a BUZZER!!! {audience cheers.}  
  
Both: The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer! The jerk with a buzzer!  
  
C.J.: Yeah! Whoooooooooooooooooaaaaa... {the song ends.} {BUZZ} {the audience cheers and applauds. C.J. and Rayman each bow to the audience and Rayman walks into a seat in the audience. C.J. walks back to his seat.} I had a hard time singing that one. That was all I could think of.  
  
Gamer: 10,000 points to Crono. 10,000 points to 17. 10,000 points to Kagome. And C.J... the big fat jerk with a buzzer says, "He hopes you have good luck finding a new job." {audience laughs.} Let's go to the next game... {pulls out a Luigi Hat.} Scenes from a Hat! {audience cheers as the performers walk on stage. Kagome and 17 are on the left side. C.J. and Crono the right.} What we do is before the show, our audience gives us suggestions of what they want to see on the show. We take all the GOOD ones, get rid of the bad ones, and pull them out of this hat and our performers out it out. {pulls a paper out of the hat.} "Strange things to collect in video games." {audience laughs.}  
  
17: {walks up and pretends to look for something.} Now where is that welfare check? {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off.}  
  
Crono: {walks up.} {elderly voice.} Help find grandma's teeth and a tube of Bengay! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off}  
  
C.J.: Help find Gamer a girlfriend, and you shall obtain... The Golden Buzzer... {BUZZ} {audience laugh as he walks back.}  
  
Gamer: The big fat jerk with a buzzer thanks you for that. {audience laughs.} {reads a paper.} "Alternate Game Endings that failed."  
  
{Kagome and 17 walk on stage.}  
  
Kagome You saved me Mario!  
  
17: I'ma Luigi.  
  
Kagome: Oh... {turns around.} Save me Mario!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}  
  
Crono: {walks up.} Now that you have beaten Rayman, you'll hear a special from C.J. {BUZZ} {singing.} Big fat jerk with a... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}  
  
{Kagome and C.J. walk on.}  
  
Kagome: Link. You must give me the ocarina, if you wish to return home... {C.J. pretends to hand her something and she wipes it with her sleeve.} When was the last time you cleaned this!?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs ad they walk off.}  
  
{Crono and 17 walk up.}  
  
Crono: Shadow! Me gotta stop the A.R.K.!  
  
17: Before we go, can I ask you something?  
  
Crono: What?  
  
17: How can we breathe in space? {audience laughs. They grab their necks like they're running out of oxygen. The audience laughs and cheer harder.} {BUZZ} {they walk off.}  
  
Gamer: Alright. {reads a paper.} "What dolls are really thinking when you poke their tummies." (suggested by Requiem Darkness) {audience laughs.}  
  
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}  
  
C.J.: {demonic} Urge to kill...rising... {laughs like a doll.} Hahahahahaha! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off.}  
  
{Kagome and 17 walk up. She pokes his stomach.}  
  
17: What the {bleep} is up with that?!?! {audience laughs.} {BUZZ} Do I look like the {bleep} Doughboy?!?!? {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as they walk off.}  
  
{Kagome and C.J. walk up. She pokes his stomach.}  
  
C.J.: That's it! A little lower... {audience laughs.} {doll voice.} I WUV YOU!!! {BUZZ} {audience is roaring with laughter. They walk off.}  
  
{Kagome and Crono walk up. He pokes her stomach.}  
  
Kagome: I wonder if GI Joe is doing Barbie? }BUZZ} {audience roars with laughter. Gamer is laughing too. They walk off.}  
  
Gamer: {laughing.} Oh, man! I thought I had a dirty mind! That was really funny. {reads another paper.} "If the police solved crimes like the Scooby Gang." {audience laughs.}  
  
{All 4 performers walk up.}  
  
17: {Freddy voice.} So after the suspect choked the life outta Mr. Smith with his own intestines, he dropped the body in the river and fled the scene.  
  
Kagome: Jinkies! {audience laughs}  
  
C.J.: {speaking like Scooby.} Roinks! Rhatta Rick Run of a Ritch!  
  
Crono: That's right Scooby. We're dealing with one sick son of a .... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. They all walk off.}  
  
Gamer: All right... {reads another paper.} "Strange things to yell out during sex.." {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {walks up.} {pretends to hold a ticket} {yells out.} Number 47!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off.}  
  
17: {walks up.} I love you... whatever your name is!!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheer. He walks off}  
  
Gamer: Okay... {reads another paper.} "Bad thing to do while drunk."  
  
{C.J. and 17 walk up.}  
  
17: {staggering} You might wanna stand still for this bris! I had some Jack Daniels and I'm a little tipsy. {BUZZ} {audience laughs. They walk off.}  
  
Crono: {walks up.} {slurred} The points don't matter! {BUZZ. {audience laughs as he walks off.}  
  
{C.J., Crono and 17 all walk on stage. The other 2 surround C.J.}  
  
C.J.: {slurred} I could take on all 4 of you little girls! {Crono and 17 start to fake beat him up.} HAHAHA!!! HELP!! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as they walk off stage. C.J. walks back up with Kagome. They look at each other.} {slurred.} I'd say I love ya baby... but I don't know if you'll still be pretty when I'm sober... {BUZZ} {audience laughs and cheers as Kagome fakes slaps him.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience applauds.}  
  
Gamer: We have a lot more fun on this show. But we gotta see a commercial! We'll be right back! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. But the audience isn't applauding and Gamer isn't at his desk. C.J. and Requiem Darkness are on the stage showing a home movie to the audience.}  
  
Requiem Darkness: I thought he had too much sugar.  
  
C.J.: He just has a fear of singing toys.  
  
{On the TV, Gamer is shouting at a Billy Bass singing novelty}  
  
}}on the TV{{  
  
Bass: {singing Blue Moon}  
  
Gamer: AHH!!! Singing fish!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! {starts singing along. The audience is laughing at the scene. So are the other performers. The scene changes to Gamer surrounded by singing toy hamsters.}  
  
Hamsters: {singing Bad to the Bone.}  
  
Gamer: HELP!!! GO TO HELL YOU SINGING RODENTS!!! {starts singing along.} {audience is laughing and cheering ad he dances around goofily.}  
  
}}on the stage.{{  
  
{Gamer can be heard walking from behind the studio. Requiem quickly runs back to her seat while C.J. gets rid of the TV and goes back to his seat. The audience cheers as he Gamer walks to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. I'm your host Gamer, or as the ladies call me... "Hey you hiding in the bushes!" {audience laughs.} Before I came out here there was a lot of laughing and cheering. What were ya doin'?  
  
C.J.: Just a few impressions... wanna see my singing bass?  
  
Gamer: NO! No...no...no... {audience laughs.} Let's just go to our next game... Film, TV, and Video Games! This is for C.J., 17, and Kagome! {audience applauds as they walk on stage.} Of course, this will be slightly different than the regular Film, TV, and Theatre styles. Our performers are gonna act out a scene, but when I buzz them, I'll give them a different style of VIDEO GAME tat they have to act out. What I need from the audience is the name of your favorite Video Games. {audience starts to shout out suggestion.} Splinter Cell...Pokemon...Pac-man... Mortal Kombat... Donkey Kong... Pitfall... that should be enough. Okay, so now we know what the styles are, here's the scene. 17 and C.J. are two rival pizza makers, who are trying to win the affection of the beautiful customer, Kagome. So whenever you're ready, take it away!  
  
{Kagome walks off stage. C.J. and 17 pretend to flip pizzas in the air.}  
  
17: {singing in Italian.} That's a gooda pizza! Gonna toss you off right!  
  
C.J.: {pretends to holds a gun and shoot 17's pizza.} BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! {audience laughs as 17 looks at his pretend pizza.} {fake Italian} Hey! It musta be Sunday, cause your pizza's so holy! {he and the audience laughs.}  
  
17: {fake Italian} What'sa matter wit' you! You boonco!  
  
C.J.: {fake Italian} Who you callin' a boonco! Spaz!  
  
{they start to argue. The audience laugh as they make strange hands gestures and shout in fake Italian.}  
  
Kagome: Ding-Dong!  
  
C.J.: {fake Italian} I wasn't away we hada doorbell! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: Excuse me. {walks on stage.}  
  
17: {fake Italian} Ohhh... It's a beautiful bella!  
  
C.J.: {fake Italian} Never mind the bella. That chick is hot! {audience laughs and cheer. They both run up to Kagome.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Splinter Cell!  
  
{C.J. sneaks behind 17 and pretends to knock him out. 17 gets K.O.ed. The audience laughs as C.J. drags him into the shadowed corner. C.J. runs back to Kagome.}  
  
C.J.: {speaking quickly.} You have just witnessed top secret activity being top secretly active. You must forget all that you have seen here, or you will be neutralized. You understand?  
  
Kagome: Yes. {C.J. turns around and she hits him in the head. K.O.ing him. He falls to the ground and the audience laughs. She pretends to hit a buzzer .} {imitating buzzer.}  
  
C.J.: The alarm! {he jumps to his feet and runs to the shadowed corner. 17 drags him out and they fake fight.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Pokemon!  
  
C.J.: {17 and he stand apart from each other.} Go! Pizzachu! {audience laughs as he walks like a Pokemon.} Burning Cheese attack! {wave his hand towards 17.} Whoosh!  
  
17: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! {audience laughs as he runs around franticly.}  
  
Kagome: Go get him! I choose you, Mozzarellager! {audience laughs and cheers as she runs like a Pokemon towards C.J. and tackles him.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Pac-man!  
  
17: Wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka-wakka! {audience laugh as he runs around the stage like Pac-man. C.J. and Kagome chase him around like the ghosts. The audience laughs and cheers as they run up in the audience and back down. 17 gets caught and he makes the lose noise and falls to the ground. The audience is laughing and cheering.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Mortal Kombat!  
  
{17 jumps to his feet.}  
  
17: You are no match for me! I will annihilate you!  
  
C.J.: {strikes fighting pose.} You are wrong! I shall rip the head clean off your shoulders and stick it in a place doth sun doesn't shine! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: ...... TOASTY!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
{C.J. and 17 start to fake fight. After a while...}  
  
C.J.: Babatility!  
  
17: {crawls like a baby.} Wah! Wah! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: For the creators to think up this, proves one thing. They have too much free time on their hands! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Kagome: TOASTY!?!? {audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: Donkey Kong!  
  
{17 acts like an ape and scoops up Kagome and go up the stairs. C.J. starts running left and right across the stage. The audience is cheering. He jumps up and sown as 17 pretends to throw barrels. After a while, 17 pretends to throw...something... out of his butt. The audience roars with laughter. C.J. pretends to get hit and makes the game over noise and falls to the ground.} {BUZZ} {the audience is still laughing and cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Pitfall!  
  
{17 make the swinging noise and pretends to swing on a vine.}  
  
17: How long do I have to hold this {bleep} vine! My arm hurts! {audience laughs and cheer.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as the performers return to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: You know, that was a little unfair for everyone except C.J. since he does work at a pizzeria. So 4000 points to everyone but him.  
  
C.J.: You know what the funny thing is? That scene we acted out. That's exactly what happens at work. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Makes me feel safer about pizza. Let's go to our next game, Sound Effects! This is for Crono and Kagome! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stops next to a couple in the audience.} Hi! what's your name?  
  
Woman: Taki.  
  
Man: Assassin. (both from the game Soul Caliber 2)  
  
Gamer: Well guess what. You guys are winners! C'mon down! {audience cheers as he 3 of them head to the stage. Taki and Assassin stand off stage while Gamer heads to his desk. He hands them microphones.} Taki, that's Kagome. Assassin that's Crono. What you two are gonna do is while Crono and Kagome act out a scene, when they prompt you to, provide the sound effects throughout the whole scene. The scene is... Bonnie, who is Kagome, and Clyde, who is Crono, are escaping the police after a bank robbery. So when ever you're ready... go!  
  
Crono: {looking to the right.} And I want it all in Golden Dollar Coins! You hear me?  
  
Kagome: {pretends to hold a machine gun.} And to show we ain't kiddin'! {points the "gun" in the air.}  
  
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Kagome: I thought I packed more bullets than 3... {audience laughs.}  
  
Taki: Bang bang bang bang bang!  
  
Kagome: There it is! {audience laughs.}  
  
Crono: Don't you touch the alarm! He touched the alarm!!!  
  
Assassin: Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!  
  
Kagome: The cops are here already! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Crono: Man that's fast! Let's go, baby! {they pretend to get into a car. Hey slam the "doors"}  
  
Assassin: Jam!  
  
Crono: The door is jammed! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: {slamming her door rapidly.} Mine won't close!  
  
Taki: Whack!  
  
Kagome: Stupid duck's blocking the door! {audience laughs as she pretends to throw something.}  
  
Crono: I'll start the car. {pretends to turn a key.}  
  
Assassin: Err Err Err!  
  
Crono: It's dead! {audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: Try again! Maybe it will make the "vroom vroom" sound it's supposed to make.  
  
{Crono turns the key again.}  
  
Taki and Assassin: Vroom! Vroom! Vroom! {audience applauds.}  
  
Crono: We must have to motors in this car! Better floor it!  
  
Taki: VROOM! ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! VROOM!!!  
  
Assassin: SREECH!!!  
  
Kagome: We hit a cat! {audience laughs.}  
  
Taki: Mew meow.  
  
Crono: He's okay. {audience laughs.}  
  
Assassin: Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!  
  
Crono: The cops are still after us! Get outta the way! {pretends to honk a horn.}  
  
Assassin: Honk! Honk!  
  
Kagome: That clown flipped up off! {audience laughs.}  
  
Taki: POP!  
  
Crono: They're throwing balloons at us!  
  
Kagome: Maybe we should shoot them back. With my MACHINE GUN! {she pretends to lean out a window while holding a pretend gun.}  
  
Taki: Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!  
  
Kagome: This is a gun! {audience laughs.}  
  
Crono: Hope I hear that tonight, baby. {move his mouth to laugh, but no sound. The audience laughs.}  
  
Kagome: That was funny, we should both laugh... REALLY loudly.  
  
Taki: {laughing.}  
  
Assassin: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Crono: All right enough! {they all stop.} {BUZZ} {audience applauds as Taki and Assassin return to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: When we return, we'll find out who the winner is! Don't go away! {scene fades out.}  
  
}}commercial break{{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. On stage is Gamer, C.J., and 17. There is also a table and 2 lounge chairs.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" Tonight, instead of a winner, we have a very special guest tonight! He's a gaming icon and legend. The very face that saved video games many tears ago. The one, the only... Mario! {audience cheers and applauds as the Mario theme starts playing. Mario walks in from the back and waves to the audience. C.J. and 17 are also applauding. Mario walks up to Gamer and shakes his hand. They both sit in the chairs. C.J. and 17 bow at Mario feet.}  
  
Mario: Arise my sons!  
  
{C.J. and 17 get up.}  
  
Gamer: Wow! {music stops.} It's a pleasure to have you here,  
  
Mario: It'sa good to be here!  
  
C.J.: I bowed down to Mario! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Now me and Mario are gonna play a game for you call Foreign Film Dub. Is this game we're gonna act out a foreign film scene for you speaking in another language. Since Mario is a fluent Italian speaker. He'll be speaking it for real, while I fake it. And 17 will translate for Mario and C.J. will translate for me. What I need from the audience is if you were an Italian director, what would your Italian action movie be? {audience shouts out suggestions.} Attack of the Killer Pizza! {audience laughs and cheers.} So let's get started. Mario, if you will...  
  
{17 and Crono walk off stage.}  
  
Mario: {speaking real Italian. Since I know no Italian, I won't bother making up dialog.}  
  
17: I have seen this giant pizza. It is about 30 stories tall. 60 tons, and tastes good with a medium soda. {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Grazie paza de casa de uh... parmensan and gomze.  
  
C.J.: What do what me to do I'm just a man. I hope... {audience laughs.}  
  
Mario: {speaks Italian.}  
  
17: You have to eat the pizza. Perhaps you can try to spot it with extra cheese, dive down, bellow like a little girl and scarf! Scarf like the wind! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Besono, ez dente socasa do and uh... Bon appetite! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: It's been my life long dream to finally eat something bigger than me! I have trained for this day! All I can say is, TIME TO STUFF!!! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Mario: {speaks Italian.}  
  
17: If only it were that simple. The pizza is making its way towards the dough factory. If he makes it there... it won't be very damn pleasant for us! {audience laughs}  
  
Gamer:: uh... Goman dos Parmen sanito con... desu... Kawasaki! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
C.J.: Let me hop on my jet ski and head over there. Maybe I can learn some REAL Italian. And some Japanese {audience laughs}  
  
Mario: {speaks Italian.}  
  
17: Only time will tell if you succeed. But you mustn't delay. Or else the pizza will destroy every lower than 4 star restaurant in the world. And that's a lot! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: uh... Gozum uh... {chuckling} I don't speak Italian. Uh... Par sar in gamaze!  
  
C.J.: Cat's outta the bag. I DON'T SPEAK ITALIAN! {audience laughs as Mario gasps.}  
  
Mario: {speaking panicked Italian.}  
  
17: You don't speak Italian?  
  
Gamer: No...  
  
C.J.: Italian? I barely speak English! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Mario: {speaks Italian.} Mama Mia! {audience cheers.}  
  
17: You are useless! The only thing we can do is dropping you on the pizza and hope you blow up and kill it! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: {shaking his head.} Mama gousa de...da...da....ih... uh... Gomez! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Please don't drop me! My mama raised from when I was an ugly baby. {audience laughs.} And now I am a non-Italian speaking ugly man! {audience laughs.}  
  
Mario: {speaking Italian}  
  
17: I won't drop you. Instead I will offer you a virgin sacrifice to the pizza. And of course you are a virgin! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: I can't keep up anymore... give it up to Mario! {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all for tonight's show. Thank you for joining for our Salute to Video Games on "Whose Line is it Anyway!" {audience cheers and applaud as C.J., Kagome, 17, Crono, Mario, and C.J. all shake hands with each other.}  
  
}}scene fades out.{{ 


	8. Episode 7

Whose Line Is It Anyway?  
Anime Craze! I don't own any anime or Whose Line. I only own Christopher Julius (my character) and Gamerctm (me).  
  
Voice: Good evening and welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" On tonight's show, {cut to C.J.} Say Ahh... Christopher Julius! {cut to Faye.} Take off your clothes. Faye Valentine! (from Cowboy Bebop.) {cut to Yami Yugi.} Get on the table. Yami Yugi! (from Yu-Gi-Oh!) And... {cut to Amarao} Cough, please. Amarao! (from FLCL.) {cut to Gamerctm, who's in the audience.} And I'm your host, Gamer! C'mon down! Let's have some fun! {walks down to his desk.}  
  
Gamer: Hello! Welcome to "Whose Line is it Anyway!" The only show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. You'll never-ever see the points, like Amarao's real eyebrows! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
Amarao: {frustrated sigh} Shoulda seen that comin'.  
  
Gamer: Could I borrow those brows? I need to paint my house. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Really takes the focus off my cape.  
  
Gamer: Let's go to our first game, "Let's Make A Date." This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the performers walk down to the stage and grab the stools that were off stage. They all sit in this order from the left.: Amarao, Yugi, C.J. and Faye.} Faye is a contestant on a dating show and the others are hoping to be picked by her for a date. But they all have strange quirks or identities that are written on those cards. {C.J. reads his card and laughs. Yugi reads his and nods. Amarao reads his and shakes his head.} They never saw those cards before. I can't wait to see Yugi's. So whenever you're ready, take it away. Go!  
  
Faye: {seductive voice} Bachelor number one. I love men who are big and strong and... have money. What kind of man are you?  
  
C.J.: {lying on his side on the stool. He's not making a move.} (Singing Novelty Bass Toy) {audience laughs and cheer.} ..........  
  
Faye: Bachelor number 1?  
  
C.J.: {bends like a bass toy towards the audience.} {singing} Hello! How are you? We could have a ball! You can make love to me and mount me on your wall! Hey! {audience laugh and cheer as he bend back.}  
  
Faye: Oh... Bachelor number 1... I didn't expect that. Bachelor number 2.  
  
Yugi: {high pitch voice} Yes? (Angry midget looking for the man who slept with his wife, C.J.) {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Faye: If you could shower me with all the riches in the world, what would you buy me?  
  
Yugi: {high pitch voice} I'd buy for you a whoop-ass stick! {audience laughs.} So I could whoop the ass of the dead man who touched my love! {audience laughs as he rubs C.J.'s head.} Any man who would so far as to screw with an another man's true love describes to have my size ½ shoe up his ass! {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
Faye: I like tough macho guys, but you're good enough. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 3.  
  
Amarao: {elderly voice.} Y-yes... (Oldest Rock Star) {audience laughs.}  
  
Faye: I like chocolate...  
  
Amarao: Ah... chocolate... I remember when they first made chocolate... {jumps up and pretends to play a rock guitar.} {yelling and singing} IT'S THE TREAT OF THE GODS!!! {audience cheers.} THE TREAT OF THE... GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODS!!! {audience is cheering and applauding. Amarao slowly sits in his seat} Oops. Time for the pill... {pretends to put something is his mouth.}  
  
Faye: Lose the fake eyebrows and then we'll talk. {audience laughs.} Bachelor number 1. My sign is cancer, the sign of the crab. What's your sign?  
  
C.J.: {bends over again.} {singing.} I like it when you speak! I like your pretty voice. I... {stops moving with his mouth wide open. The audience is laughing} I like... I like... I like... big butts and I cannot lie! {audience laugh and cheer as he bends back.}  
  
Faye: I like big butts too. Bachelor number 2...  
  
Yugi: {stroking C.J.'s hair.} I forgive ya honey. I just can't wait to... {looks in the audience.} You!!! {gets on his knees and runs up the stairs. The audience cheers and laugh. He pulls Jimmy Koto (from Detective Conan) down on stage.} You and mes gotta fight now! {he tries to drag Jimmy down, but he can't. Jimmy keeps laughing.} You! {he falls down on his back and is breathing hard.} You win this round... go back from wheres you came! {Jimmy runs back into the audience. He, as well as everyone else, is laughing.}  
  
C.J.: {bends again.} {Chris Rock voice.} Boy! You got knocked da hell out!!! {audience is still laughing.}  
  
Faye: Bachelor number 3. Sing me a song! {audience cheers.}  
  
Amarao: Okay! {jumps down on his knees and pretends to play a guitar.} DAAAAAAAAAAAOW!!! {audience cheers as he rocks out. He plays it with his teeth. He pulls it back and acts like he doesn't have teeth. The audience laughs and applauds as pulls on his guitar to get his teeth back.} WHAAAAA!!! {gives the famous rock out hand gesture.} {BUZZ}  
  
Gamer: So, who the hell are they, Faye?  
  
Faye: Number one is a fish toy!  
  
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheers.}  
  
Faye: Number 2 is a 2-part answer... he's a midget, and C.J. is his girlfriend?  
  
Gamer: He's an angry midget cause his WIFE, C.J. did what?  
  
Faye: Slept with someone!  
  
Gamer: Right. {BUZZ} And what about number 3?  
  
Faye: He's my grandpa trying to be a rock star!  
  
Gamer: Perfect! {BUZZ} {audience cheers as they all return to their seats.} You all get 5000 demi points! {audience cheers.} But after you figure it out in real points, it's only 5. {audience awws.} It sounds like a lot though! Let's go to our next game... Motown Group! This is for C.J., Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they come on stage.} What you guys are gonna do is make a Motown song about a strange topic. And you sing one verse at a time. Audience! Gimme a weird topic for a Motown song! {audience shouts out suggestion.} Taxidermist!  
  
C.J.: Taxidermist?  
  
Gamer: Yeah, someone who stuffs dead animals. So when the music starts, take it away! {Motown music starts. The audience cheers as they start dancing.}  
  
C.J.: Oh-ho-ho! Yeah! Well! I'm a taxidermist, and do my job well! I make toys outta animals and make sure they don't smell! My left and right hand, they are my best friends! I use them to grab some cotton and stuff them up ends! {audience cheers.} Yeah! Yeah! Oh! {walks back.}  
  
Yugi: {walks up.} I needed a taxidermist to stuff my dead dog! After one visit, he was stiff as a log! I asked a little question, it didn't seem to bother! I came back the next day and stuffed my grandmother! {audience laughs and cheers.} That don't rhyme... {walks back.}  
  
Amarao: {deep base voice.} Oh, I'm a taxidermist... But I'm very bad...  
  
Yugi and C.J.: He's very bad!  
  
Amarao: I didn't read the manual... It got me mad!  
  
Yugi and C.J.: He's...oh! He's very mad!  
  
Amarao: I made a mistake, and it turned my face red. Before you stuff a tiger... make sure that it's dead! {audience laughs.} You took my grandma line! {walks back.}  
  
C.J.: Oh! Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Oh!  
  
Yugi: Do the Taxidermist!  
  
Amarao: Do the Taxidermist! Yeah! Do the...  
  
All: Taxidermist!!! {BUZZ} {music ends and the audience cheers. They all walk back to their seats.}  
  
Gamer: {wipes away a fake tear} I tell ya, that brought back some memories...  
  
C.J.: Good. Keep them to yourself. {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: Let's go to our next game, News Flash! This is for Faye, Yugi, and Amarao! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Amarao walks up to the desk and takes a microphone from Gamer.} Now Amarao will be a reporter on the field. But he's not really on the field, he's in front of what we call a green screen. {Amarao is in front of a giant green screen.} He could stare right at it. All he sees is green. But to the audience and the others, they can see what's behind him thanks to the magic of TV. Faye, and Yugi have to give him clues to what's behind him and he has to figure it out before the game ends. So... let's get it on!  
  
Yugi: {whispers to Faye.} So what do you say? A little dancing... show ya the back seat of the Camaro. {audience laughs.}  
  
Faye: Oh... that's sounds fu... {looks at the camera.} We interrupt your broadcast to bring you this special bulletin.  
  
Yugi: Our star reporter... Amarao is on the field. Amarao? Can you hear me?  
  
Amarao: {looking around frantically. Behind him is some scenes from the movie Jaws. The audience is laughing and cheering.} I can barely hear you over this... this... craziness!  
  
{scene shows the first scene where Jaws attacks the girl. The audience screams.}  
  
Faye: My goodness, Amarao! How did all this happen?  
  
Amarao: It all started with an endless hoedown! {Gamer and the audience laugh. The audience applauds, then screams when Jaws' head comes out of the water.}  
  
Yugi: Look out! {Amarao starts running.} You're safe now! But I'm no expert. What exactly do you call that?  
  
Amarao: We just call that too much Prozac. {audience laughs as the scene changes to people running from the water.} I don't know. I'm no expect either.  
  
Faye: Tell me. What have you done to protect yourself?  
  
Amarao: I've... {pauses.} I've not bathed in a while. {audience laughs.} It seems to be working! {scene changes to Jaws attacking a boat.}  
  
Yugi: Can you sink your teeth into this?  
  
Amarao: Pardon?  
  
Yugi: Do you think you can sink your teeth into this?  
  
Amarao: I can sink my teeth, gums, and other parts into it! {scene shows Jaw about to eat a man. The audience screams even louder.}  
  
Faye: Any orchestrations around?  
  
Amarao: A minor and H sharp! The sounds of sure death! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yugi: This is pure gold that will spawn 40 crappy sequels. Am I right? {audience laugh and cheer. The scene changes to a man about to shoot Jaws.}  
  
Amarao: You are right my friend... And also... well you're right!  
  
Faye: Tell me, Amarao. You're so close! Some people might say you're Da- dum... Da-dum... Da-dum... {audience begin humming the Jaws theme even faster.}  
  
Amarao: Do Do Do Do! {audience cheers. He turns around.} SMILE!!! You son of a... {BUZZ} {audience is laughing and cheering as Jaws explodes.}  
  
Gamer: Tell me! Where are you?  
  
Amarao: The movie Jaws!  
  
Gamer: YES!!! {BUZZ} {audience cheer and applaud as the performers return to their seats.} Hey! We'll be right back with more Whose Line is it Anyway! Don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}  
  
}commercial break.{  
  
{scene fades in., The audience is cheering.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway! The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Hey! For all you fan girls out there, a Hiei Plushie will be given to the first 100 girls who say they're Hiei's love monkey! {audience cheers.} No... not really! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game, Scene with an Audience Member! This is for C.J. and Yugi! {audience cheers as they walk on stage. Gamer goes into the audience and stands next to a little teen girl.} Hi. What's your name?  
  
Girl: {shyly} Shinobu (From Love Hina)  
  
Gamer: Shinobu! You wanna be in our next game?  
  
Shinobu: Okay!  
  
Gamer: Let's go! {audience cheers and applauds as they go on stage. Gamer returns to his desk and gives her a card.} This is Shinobu. {Yugi and C.J. shake hands with her.} She's a little shy, but we'll fix it with this game. You two are gonna act out a scene with her, but she can only say the lines on the card, when she's prompted to. And... {laughs.} Sorry... I shoulda read this to you first... The scene is on the Titanic. C.J. is a impoverish artist... painting a nude picture of Shinobu... {audience laugh and cheer as Shinobu blushes.} Sorry bout that... Guess you're a lot shyer... But they are interrupted when Shinobu's fiancée, Yugi walks in the cabin. So whenever you're ready... GO!  
  
C.J.: {Yugi walks off stage. C.J. pretends to draw a picture.} I finished... It's just a stick figure with boobs, though... {audience laughs.} Tell me! What do you think of it?  
  
Shinobu: {reads the card.} That's a bad shade of lipstick for you. {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I know... I know... but what do you expect! I'm impoverished... Which I assume it means poor. {audience laughs.} But... let's forget that for now! Tell me... what else do you think of me?  
  
Shinobu: {reads the card and laughs.} I think I'm gonna be sick! {audience laugh and cheer. C.J. fake sobs.} {whispers.} Sorry...  
  
C.J.: Don't apologize! You're right! I get sick looking at myself! But if you could just look past that and...  
  
Yugi: Hey! {walks on stage.} What's this nude artist doing here? {audience laugh and cheer as C.J. pretends to put some pants on.}  
  
C.J.: It's the only way I can paint!  
  
Yugi: Tell me you aren't staying with this impoverished artist! What can you say to me?  
  
Shinobu: Uh... {reads the card.} You could really use a shower! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yugi: {shouting} I do nothing but shower for you, and I find you with this...  
  
C.J.: Don't shout at her! {grabs her Shinobu's shoulder.} She wants to be with me! Right, honey? Why don't you tell him...  
  
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I like big butts? {audience laugh and cheer.}  
  
C.J.: {pretends to carry a big butt.} See! She wants me!  
  
Yugi: {shakes a little.} Whoa-a-a! I think we hit something! What do you think Shinobu?  
  
Shinobu: {reads the card.} I could use a cold one! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: She's right! We musta hit an iceberg!  
  
Yugi: Then it hit my side! I was the only one who moved! {audience laughs.} We better run! Come with me Shinobu!  
  
Shinobu: {runs to him. She then reads the card.} You're uglier than he is! {audience laughs as Yugi pretends to be sad.}  
  
Yugi: Very well... go with him! I can tell... you love him more...  
  
C.J.: I'd run over but... {shakes his butt a little.} My ass is stuck again! {audience laughs.}  
  
Yugi: Wait! We could use your butt as a floatation device!  
  
C.J.: I should have told you this! My ass is really a raft! Come with me Shinobu!  
  
Shinobu: {runs to him and reads the card.} Don't make me turn this car around! {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
C.J.: Honey! I told you! You can't bring a car on the ocean! {audience laughs.} Hurry! We have to go! {Yugi and Shinobu run to him and stand behind him.} {makes an air hissing sound.} Damn! It's deflated again! {audience laughs and cheers.} {BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ} {shakes Shinobu's hand again.} You were great! {they return to their seats. Shinobu runs to Gamer and shakes his hand.}  
  
Gamer: Love havin' ya on the game! {audience is still cheering as Shinobu runs back to her seat.} Ain't so shy now, are ya? {she shakes her head and smiles. The audience cheers more.} That was great! One Trillion points for everyone! {audience cheers and applauds. All the performers pumps their fists in the air.} One trillion... Eat my dust, Regis! {audience laughs.} Let's go to our next game... Bartender! This is for everyone! {audience cheers as the 4 performers walk on stage. There is a bar scene set up to the left of the stage.} Now in this game, C.J. is a bartender who listens to the other 3 performers' troubles. When the music starts, one of the performers will walk up to the bar and sing to C.J. his or her trouble. This is a great game! Just watch and see. Okay, what I need from the audience is something Faye might be angry about...  
  
Audience Member: Slept with an ugly man! {audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: That's a good one! So when the music starts... Faye, sing to him your slept with an ugly man trouble!  
  
Faye: {dramatic music starts playing. She walks up to the bar.} Bourbon! Make it a double!  
  
C.J.: You seem upset. Pretty girl like you, should be happy. What's on your mind, beautiful?  
  
Faye: Well... you see... {starts singing.} I was at a party... Things go a little out of hand... But I woke up to a beauty-impaired man... {audience laughs.} I had drunk to much wine...and nearly died! When I saw the face of that guy! {audience laughs.} It isn't fair! Wouldn't you know! Why did I sleep with Quasimodo? {audience laughs and cheer.}  
  
C.J.: Well... {starts singing.} Things aren't so bad... don't be so sad! You're answers don't come from a bottle of glass! Maybe you weren't looking at his face, but rather, his ass! {audience laughs.} No need to drown in tonic and giiiiiiiiiiin... Could be worst... You could sleep with {points to Gamer.} Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!!! {the audience laughs and cheers was Gamer glares at C.J. The music ends.}  
  
Gamer: Gonna miss havin' ya on the show... {audience laughs.} So now... It's Yugi's turn... give him something he's excited about, audience! {audience shouts out suggestions.} His new wig! {audience laughs.} That hair is real right?  
  
Yugi: Yeah...  
  
Gamer: Just checkin'... okay so take it away!  
  
Yugi: {cheerful piano music starts playing. He walks up to the bar.} Gimme the best ya got! Nuthin' gonna trouble me today!  
  
C.J.: Hey... {starts singing.} Nice hair! Nice hair! It's sleek and stylish and sets in the air!  
  
Yugi: {singing} But you see! It ain't real! Though it astounds and appeals! It's was brought at the maaaaall!!! Listen to my caaaaaall! Hair! Hair! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiir!!! {audience cheers and applauds.} It might be a wig, but don't fear! It's not a dead animal, just gimme a beer! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: I'll...just...give...you...a...  
  
Yugi and C.J.: Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!!! {audience cheers and applauds. The music ends.}  
  
Gamer: I'd give it two Tonies... and a Frank. {audience laughs.} Now it's Amarao's turn. Give me someone he'd be in love with. {audience shouts out suggestions.} Himself! Can't beat the classics! So Amarao is in love with who? Himself! {audience laughs as romantic piano music starts playing.}  
  
Amarao: {walks up to the bar.} Some Jack Daniels to my number one guy! Me! {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Tell me. Have you ever fallen in love?  
  
Amarao: Well... {starts singing.} I met a guy... A deviously handsome guy... A deviously handsome guy with furry brows and a nice long... well you know! {audience laughs.} Most people say his eyebrows are fake. But don't just don't know the truth... {starts fake sobbing.} They were burnt off in a fire... {audience aws.} {laughs.} He also a liar... {audience groans and laughs.} He's the greatest guy you ever met! So cool, you'd cry! It's three guys! Me, myself and I! {audience applauds.}  
  
C.J.: I must say... {puts a hand on Amarao's shoulder.} I felt the same way... {points to himself.} I love myself everyday! {audience laughs.} Bet my guy could kick your guy's ass!  
  
Amarao: Bring it on! {they start fake punching each other, making the audience laugh and cheer ever more.} {BUZZ} {the audience applauds as they get up and shake hands. The audience starts cheering.}  
  
Gamer: We'll be right back with a winner! So don't go anywhere! {scene fades out.}  
  
}commercial break{  
  
{scene fades in. The audience is cheering. Gamer, C.J., Faye, and Amarao are sanding on stage. Yugi is at the desk.}  
  
Gamer: Welcome back to Whose Line it Anyway! Tonight's winner... Yugi Moto! {audience cheers as Yugi nods and smiles.} So the rest have to do a game for you called, Questions Only! {audience cheers and applauds.} What we gotta do in this game is that, we're only allowed to speak in questions only. If someone messes up, another person takes his or her place! Great game at a party with no chicks or booze! Yugi! What is out scene?  
  
Yugi: {reads a card.} A bank robbery.  
  
Gamer: So Faye and Amarao will start first. Me and C.J. next. So whenever you guys are ready! {he walks to the off stage to the left. C.J. walks to the right.}  
  
Amarao: {points his fingers at Faye like guns.} Gimme all your money in a paper... {pauses.} Damn! {BUZZ} {he walks off stage while the audience laughs.}  
  
Gamer: The game is QUESTIONS only...  
  
C.J.: {walks on stage. He points his fingers like guns at Faye.} Can you give me all your money in a paper bag? {audience laughs and cheers.}  
  
Faye: Oh! {scared.} Is-is-is this a robbery?  
  
C.J.: What do you think?  
  
Faye: What happened to the security guards?  
  
C.J.: You mean the guys in Burger King hats? {audience laughs.}  
  
Faye: Those weren't guards?  
  
C.J.: What do you think they say, 'You want fries with that?' {audience laughs.}  
  
Faye: ....... I don't know... {BUZZ} {she walks off stage. Gamer walks up.}  
  
Gamer: Checking or Savings account?  
  
C.J.: Can't you see this is a hold-up?!  
  
Gamer: Is that like savings? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: Are you new here?  
  
Gamer: Am I doin' sumthin' wrong?  
  
C.J.: {mocking} Am I doin' sumthin' wrong? {audience laughs.} You some sorta idiot?  
  
Gamer: You speak that way to people?  
  
C.J.: ............ {walks off. The audience laughs.} {BUZZ}  
  
Amarao: {walks up.} Do you want to live or die?  
  
Gamer: That a trick question?  
  
Amarao: Do I look like I'm joking?  
  
Gamer: Maybe if you... aw... crap! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as he walks off stage. Faye takes his place.}  
  
Faye: {screaming.} SIR!!! WON'T YOU PLEASE STAND BEHIND THE LINE!?!?! {audience laughs and applauds.} CAN YOU NOT WAIT UNTIL THE TELLER CALLS YOU OVER?!?!? {the audience cheers.}  
  
Amarao: Can you run that by me again? {audience laughs.}  
  
Faye: No... I can't! {BUZZ} {audience laughs as she walks off stage. Gamer returns.}  
  
Gamer: Hey! Didn't you see me rob this bank first?  
  
Amarao: {laughs as he walks off stage.} {BUZZ} {C.J. takes his place.}  
  
C.J.: You robbin' this bank?  
  
Gamer: Who wants to know?  
  
C.J.: {pretends to hold up a badge.} Don't you know you're under arrest?  
  
Gamer: You gonna read me my rights? {audience laughs.}  
  
C.J.: {sigh.} {pretends to read something.} Do you know you have the right to remain silent? Do you know that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law? {audience laughs and cheers as he goes on.} Do you know that you have a right to an attorney? Do you know that if you do not have an attorney, the court will provide one for you? Do you know that if you fail to show up in court, a warrant will be released for your arrest? {audience applauds when he finishes.}  
  
Gamer:.......... What? {audience laughs even more.}  
  
C.J.: ......... Spread em'! {pretends to hold up a nightstick.}  
  
Gamer: Whoa! {defends himself.} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {BUZZ} {audience cheers and applauds.} That's all we have for tonight! Join us next time for more Whose Line is it Anyway! Bye! {scene fades out.} 


End file.
